[lurker]

A Tourist visiting Los Angeles walked into a pet shop and was looking at the
animals on display. While he was there, a police officer walked in and said
to the shopkeeper, "I'll take a Patrol monkey, please." The shopkeeper
nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey.
He fit it with a collar and leash, handed it to the officer saying, "That'll
be $1,000." The officer paid and walked out with his monkey.

Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very
expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it
cost so much?" The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can fire expert
with all small arms, write 20 tickets a month, and is certified in Small
Unit Tactics--- well worth the money! The tourist looked at the monkey in
another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?"
"Oh, that one's a POST certified Sergeants Patrol monkey; it can instruct
other monkeys in Basic Firearms Skills, Counter Terrorism, Training,
Physical Training, Small Unit Tactics and investigative techniques, and even
type. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.

The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a
large cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $70,000. He gasped
to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together!
What on earth does it do?" The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually
seen it do anything, but it says it's a lieutenant."