[lurker]

The NIKE Executives couldn't enlist the support of third world child labor to help them however I can hear tech support now:

"Tower this is Gulfstream-5xj, we're having a problem with our landing gear, can we get some assistance. Over.”

“Gulfstream-5xj, this is the control tower, you’re cleared to land on runway 14.”

“Tower, to repeat, we’re having trouble with our landing gear, we can’t land. We need help. Over.”

“We copy that 5xj. Please land on runway 14.”

“Tower let me repeat: Our landing gear is stuck, we CAN’T land.”

“5xj, this is tower. Our recommendation is to just do it. “

“No! That’s not funny! Come up with something else!”

“Fine. Fly low, do a touch and go landing. Maybe that will shake it loose.”

“Didn’t work Tower. What else?”

“Just try it again.”
“Still didn’t work Tower. What else?”

“ Quitters never win, 5xj”

“Is there somebody else we can work with, maybe at Gulfstream? We’re running out of fuel and we aren’t getting very good support here.”

“HA! You need the motion control model!”

“Actually I saw that one coming tower, that was my fault. But seriously, how do we get down?”

“CJ, you’re going to have to somehow get down into the wheelwell and pry that wheel loose. It’s not designed as an interior-access panel, but a small person should be able to get in there.”

“Tower, I’m 6’ 7”, there’s no way I can fit down in there.”

“Bet you wish you had some of those child laborers NOW, huh?”

“That was very low, tower. Get us the @#$% down! We’re out of fuel!”

“ALRIGHT, alright, watch your tongue. Ha! We have a top guy from Gulfstream here right now. You know, if he gets you down ok, he’ll be a shoe-in for CEO next year.”

“Stop it!”

Gulfstream expert:
“Alright CJ, from our experience try coming down hard one more time. Our calculations show that the wheel came out a little on each prior attempt, it should be out far enough to support a full landing with one more good jolt. We’ll watch you go by and then based on what we see we may recommend something else. I suggest something with more aft-support.”

“Not you, too! We’re about to crash here! We need more help!”

“Look, we don’t have unlimited resources, we’re on kind of a shoe-string budget here. And I never said I was straight-laced, 5xj. ”

“Here we come! What’s that thing stretched across the runway?”

“Push through it! The boys put a finish line tape across so you’d feel at home.”

“AARRRRGGGHH!”