[lurker]

ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that
you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for
a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the
teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six,
nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen
nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head
and ordered six McNuggets.

TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few
items ! and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to
mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash
register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
"divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this
is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy
that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE
A lady! at work was seen putting a credit card into
her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as
to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and
they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM
"thingy."

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her
car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should
have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't
get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience
store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you
have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she
answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and
manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over
there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too
swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said,
"I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier
machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took
her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier
and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor
home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire
need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in
"Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that
the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to
make a sandwich.

SEVEN
My neighbor work! s in the operations department in the
central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when
they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from
a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got
smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire
downtown?"

EIGHT
Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a
metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a
photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier,
and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect
wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working,
the suspect confessed.

NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if
she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating
ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and
should be fine. The mother says, I just gave him some ant
killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him to emergency!