I have a Labrador Retriever and I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog? (DUH!)
On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that
I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't,
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care with tubes coming out of most
of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food
poisoned me.
I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and
car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard.
