[lurker]

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a
trim before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.
"I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall is a vending machine that should serve your purpose."
Skeptical, but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted 50 cents, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head, looked into the mirror and saw the best haircut he'd ever had.

There was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures, 25 cents." Why not thought the salesman. He inserted the money and stuck his hands into the slot.

When he pulled them out 15 seconds later they were perfectly manicured.

The next machine had a sign that read, "This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away from Their Wives 50 Cents."

The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and, with some anticipation, stuck IT into the opening. When the machine started buzzing the guy let out a shriek of agony. Fifteen seconds later it shut off and, with trembling hands, the salesman withdrew IT to find a button sewed onto the end.