[TexKan]

It is so hard to deal with the pain of reality of a failed relationship. Everyone has felt what you feel but it seems like there is just so much intensity of your feelings that there is no way that anyone can truely understand.

It seems that your head is in a good spot but that doesn't make the pain any easier to bear. There have been days in all our lives that we just don't know where we will find the desire to get up and function. It truely is painful.

It is one day at a time and there are some relationships that you just have to find the place to put them in your heart. Avery protected place where you can look back on them with pleasure and not feel the pain you feel now. That takes time. There is no magic action, no magic words. Beware of getting drunk - it will make the pain worse and will also often make you act like a fool.

I believe you can salvage friendships cause that is what you first had. Not all believe that and with some you must keep your heart open (cause that's who you are) even tho the other person has and continues to cut you to the core. In the long run you will be the better person for it. Taking the high road isn't easy.

Take inventory of who you are, who you want to be, and who you feel could best be a partner in those travels. You can't make someone treat you well, cherish you, love you. They are who they are and if they aren't willing to do the hard work,make the sacrifices, honor the committment and work toward joint goals then you would still be alone. I had a man tell me one time that the worst day with me was better than the best day without me. I hung onto that for a very long time even tho the rest of the relationship was disasterous. It still takes my breath away at times but I'm in a far better place. You want a person to love you with everything they are but the truth is if they have nothing for themselves the very foundation crumbles. There is a happy medium and I hope it comes to you when you are ready.

Mourn the loss the way you need to and have a clean healthy start when you meet someone new. It's not impossible that the regection you feel now will form the basis of what you require in the future. It could be with the same person it could be with someone new. The doors are open - don't put deadbolts on any possibility.