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Originally Posted by youngwhippersnapper  I'm really ok though. Thats the thing. Yes it hurts. But I don't regret any of it. These things happen. Long distance relationships rarely work out and ours was no different. Neither of us had the time or the funds to see each other regularly.
Honestly I'm not sure why I posted this on the board. It just seemed like a lot of people have been wanting to know whats going on. Especially Jeezeweeze.
YWS |
YWS I'm not one to poke into anyones business, I am tho, usually one someone can talk to and they know that it will NEVER be repeated. I have lived long enough to realize that we ALL , EVERYONE OF US, go through the same problems at different times of our lives and that is the way its supposed to be.
Every person we meet or have contact with is a blessing and we learn some valuable lesson even if it hurts. We especially remember the ones that hurt us and the ones we hurt unintentionally . There was a thing going around in email re/ Season,Reason,and I can't remember all of it however it was one of the best things I have read on life experiences .
Since your experience is one I went through, I will tell you to let you know this is nothing rare. I, however, after being married at the age of 15 and a 21 year marriage then divorce, then a second marriage in less than a year that lasted 22 years, then divorce(I fall in love to damn easy).
After all those years of marriage I was not wise to the ways of the world. So I made alot of mistakes but I also had a great time. Taking classes of life to make up for lost time (I guess anyway). So here is the idiot that I was.
I bought a computer and got addicted to the interaction with men and the attention I received. Oh I had the web cam and a great ability to talk the talk by computer or phone. I would be on the computer all hours when I wasn't working . Actually I went to meet a couple of the guys at the protest of my daughter and all my friends.... I told them where I would be, how long I would be gone. Always driving distance and always in public. I wasn't totally stupid but close to it. One was in KC area and I let my nephew be aware of what was going on. These meetings were only after several months of communication. My loved ones, were beside themselves with worry, cause the KC area was where the guy was stuffing women he had met on the net into barrels. Anyhoo
I met a guy online that lived in Indiana, it was awesome, he was so sweet, a Viet Nam Vet. Plus he was not into cyber sex and never ever said a racy or suggestive thing to me. Even tho I was never shocked by the things that were said by the other men , I found him so refreshing and he was just just a great guy trying to survive. Several months of daily communication, phone, puter, I met his daughter , her boyfriend the whole thing.
All this time I was also going to the singles dances in
DC. I am a people person and I really love to dance, and I kinda like a Margarita occasionally. LOL
My relationship with my Indiana man was getting serious and I decided it was time to meet him and his family in person. So I went online, bought tickets and got my schedule to fly to Indianapolis the following month. We were both absolutely thrilled and counting the days.(I bought my own ticket for a reason... the ladies know )
Then it happened................ I went to a singles dance the following week after buying the ticket and I met a guy that just knocked me for a loop. He came that night with a lady that was a regular and everyone knew her. It was so weird cause she sat at "our gang" table and she never did that before. She had taken pity on him and got him out of the house, as a friend, he was recently divorced. He latched on to me for some reason Charming and full of shit, which I love. He was aggressive and no matter what I did I couldn't get away. He found out where I lived and came by with flowers and charm. I finely decided we could go out ...meantime I am still involved with Indiana.
I am so sorry this happened and it was horrible, but I had to tell my guy in Indiana that I would not be going to meet him and this really was not the first time that had happened to him. It devastated him and I felt lower than whale shit for a long long time. Like I led him along but I really had not done that, I had not intended to meet someone. It just happened. He did not take it graciously and the hate mail I received was frightening . He knew where I lived because at one point he was going to visit me, and it fell through. He went ballistic and I cannot say I blame him, he had been hurt alot in his life span and I hurt him to the core. I still to this day regret I caused him so much pain. He did put a curse on me and the new man in my life and trust me ...... it worked ......... at least for a time that is. That was in 2003 and it was 2006 when the curse was finely lifted..............
Long distance relationships are not impossible but are very hard. When the other person has their job and you have yours. You want them to give up everything and come to you and vice versa(?) for them. Unless you have all the time and money you need to travel , which you have already mentioned you don't, then my advise to you is don't open yourself up for a let down. If you still want to meet whomever online that's fine. Just be aware of the complications of long distances but also be aware there is a glimmer of hope of meeting someone that fits the bill. It happened to a friend of mine ....he in western Kansas, she in Chicago. He had the money and time, she had the money and a good job. She moved to him , they got married and as far as I know are very happy. She is a nurse and had no problem finding a job.
I count my experience as a GOD thing. We don't always get what we want but we always get what we need.
I can tell you .....what my oldest daughter said was something she always remembered. My younger daughter always forgets.
THIS TOO SHALL PASS