I missed your Birthday
HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!!
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. Mowing
> the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever.
> You are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work
> clothes on. You know the outfit, shorts with the hole in crotch, old
> t-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.
>
> Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you
> need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job.
>
> Depending on your age you might do the following:
>
> In your 20's:
>
> Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush
> your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror
> and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you
> just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You
> went to school with the pretty girl running the register.
>
> In your 30's:
>
> Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes.
> You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and
> comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot
> of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the
> register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
>
> In your 40's:
>
> Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover
> the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat.
> Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you
> don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the
> mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running
> the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is
> spicy.
>
> In your 50's:
>
> Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto
> your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new
> sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that
> shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the
> register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it.
> Then you remember the hat you have on is from your buddy's bait shop and
> it says, "I Got Worms ".
>
> In your 60's:
>
> Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose off the dog
> crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's.
> You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your
> pants. The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your
> glasses on so you are not sure.
>
> In your 70's:
>
> Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your
> prescriptions ready too. Don't even notice the dog crap on your shoes.
> The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of
> her grandfather.
>
> In your 80's:
>
> Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember
> that you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wonder around
> trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you
> think someone called out your name. The old lady that greeted you at the
> front door went to school with you..
>
>