[mommiedearestx3]

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male........ The back fastener on a woman's bra.


2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male...... Playing football without a cup.


3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male..... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.


4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.


5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.


6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.


7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female.... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male...... Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.


8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male...... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.


HE SAID SHE SAID
He said . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . You wear pants don't you?

He said . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . . Why don't women blink during foreplay?
She said . . They don't have time.

He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.

He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good- looking?
She said . . They already have boyfriends.

She said . . What do you call a women who knows where her husband is every night?
He said . . A widow.

He said . . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.