[Flying Dutchman]

First---- I can count on one hand how many spanking my children got from me, actually they got 3 between the two of them. Do I disagree with spanking? Nope. It just wasn't needed in our case.

I received maybe 5 spankings from my mother, maybe 3 or 4 from my dad. My mother was abused, sexually and mentally, until she was in her 20's. My father was abused physically until he was 25 when he finally beat the crap out of my grandfather. From their experiences they learned a better way, and from that I learned an even better one.

Too many parents think their house and home is a Democracy. Well, it isn't. It is a Monarchy, even close to a Dictatorship. A 5 year olds opinion might count when asked which toy they wish to play with. It does not count on what to fix for supper. When grown-ups are talking (I.E. your friends or family members) that is not an invitation for the children to sit down and join unless the discussion is geared towards them. Children are children, not small adults. Ever wonder why the kids sat at one table and the adults the other? While I might find my child to be inteligent and funny, others probably find it annoying. If i say i will do something, or that a discipline is coming, then that is what happens. Making threats like "I will ground you till your 20" or something completely out of the realm of reality does nothing since it will never happen. If I had to give up a night out because I had to be home with my child because they were grounded, then that is what i did but they definately did not like it. They were not allowed to just go to bed, they had to stay up and do something so tedious and demeaning that they got the point. If your child does not respect you, then this will never work since they do not care what you say or think. You teach them from the get-go about respect. Not control or micro-authority, but respect. It makes life easier.