[jeezeweeze]

When you occasionally have a really bad day,
And you just need to take it out on someone, don't
Take it out on someone you know, take it out on
Someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a
Phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number
And dialed it. A man answered, saying 'Hello.'

I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I
Please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear
'Get the right f......ing number!' and the phone was
Slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone
Could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's
Correct number to call her, I found that I had
Accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call
The 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled
'You're an a*shole!' and hung up. I wrote his number
Down with the word '*******' next to it, and put it
In my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was
Paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him
Up and yell, 'You're an a*shole!'

It always cheered me up.

When Caller, ID was introduced, I thought my
Therapeutic 'a*shole' calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John
Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see
If you're familiar with our Caller, ID Program?'

He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, 'That's
Because you're an a*shole!' and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to
Pull into a par king spot. Some guy in a black BMW
Cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently
Waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been
Waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I
Noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back window, so I
Wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling
The first a*shole (I had his number on speed dial),
I thought that I'd better call the BMW a*shole, too.

I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said, 'Yes, it is.'

I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it? '

He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd., in
Fairfax. It's a yellow Rambler,
And the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked, 'What's your name?'
He said, 'My name is Don Hansen,'

I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said, 'Yes?'

I said, 'Don, you're an a*shole!'
Then I hung up, and added his number to my
Speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had
; two a*sholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea. I called a*shole 1.

He said, 'Hello.'
I said, 'You're an a*shole!' (But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, 'Are you still there?'
I said, 'Yeah,'
He screamed, ' Stop calling me,'
I said, 'Make me,'
He asked, 'Who are you?'
I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
I said, 'A*shole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd.,
In Fairfax, it's a yellow rambler and I have a black
Beamer parked in front.'

He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And
You had better start saying your prayers.'
I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared,
A*shole,' and hung up.

Then I called A*shole 2.

He said, 'Hello?'
I said, 'Hello, a*shole.'
He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'
I said, 'You'll what?'
He exclaimed, 'I'll kick you're a*S!'
I answered, 'Well, a*shole, here's your
chance. I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the
Police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd., in
Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to
kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang
war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax .

I quickly got into my car and headed over to
Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two
a*sholes beating the crap out of each other in front
of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and
surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really does work