[jeezeweeze]

> >>>> POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM
> >>>>
> >>>> I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with,
> >>>> 'Hi! I'm Belinda!' This perky clipboard carrier
> >>>> smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and
> >>>> crooned, 'All I need you to do is step into this room
> >>>> right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown.
> >>>>
> >>>> Everything clear?
> >>>>
> >>>> I'm thinking, 'Belinda, try decaf. This ain't
> >>>> rocket science.'
> >>>>
> >>>> Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
> >>>>
> >>>> With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me
> >>>> (literally) to the left and said, 'Hmmmm. Can you stand
> >>>> on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get
> >>>> everything?'
> >>>>
> >>>> Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air,
> >>>> so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and
> >>>> neck and finish me off?
> >>>>
> >>>> My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with
> >>>> my other boob wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of
> >>>> square plastic) when we heard, then felt a zap! Complete
> >>>> darkness and the power went off!
> >>>>
> >>>> 'Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.'
> >>>> Belinda headed for the door.
> >>>>
> >>>> 'Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise
> >>>> alone are you?' I shouted.
> >>>>
> >>>> Belinda kept going and said, 'Oh, you fussy puppy...the
> >>>> door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall
> >>>> lights. I'll be right back.'
> >>>>
> >>>> Before I could shout 'NOOOO!' she disappeared.
> >>>>
> >>>> And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men
> >>>> extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me
> >>>> dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed
> >>>> between glass!
> >>>>
> >>>> After exchanging polite 'Hi, how's it going '
> >>>> type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter
> >>>> disbelief, if I knew the power was off.
> >>>>
> >>>> Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much
> >>>> calmness as possible 'Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.'
> >>>>
> >>>> 'You bet, take care' Bubba replied and waved
> >>>> good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the
> >>>> grocery store.
> >>>>
> >>>> Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish
> >>>> grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she
> >>>> said, 'Oh I am sooo sorry!' The power came back on
> >>>> and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to
> >>>> lunch. Are we upset?'
> >>>>
> >>>> And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up
> >>>> between the clamps....
> >>
> >