| Mary takes her dog, Max, to the vet because he snores loud enough to wake the dead. The vet tells Mary to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring.
A few hours after going to bed, Max is snoring as loud as usual. Finally, unable to sleep, Mary goes to her sewing bag and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it around the dog's testicles: Sure enough, to Mary's amazement, the dog stops snoring.
Later that night, her husband, George, returns home drunk from being out with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring very loudly.
Mary wonders if maybe the ribbon will also work on him. So she goes to her sewing bag again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon, and ties it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on George!
Mary then sleeps very soundly for the rest of the night.
The next morning, George wakes up very hung over. He stumbles into the bathroom to urinate.
As he is standing in front of the toilet, he looks in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his testicles. He is very confused.
As he walks back into the bedroom, he notices a red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles.
George shakes his head and looks at the dog and says: "Boy, I don't remember where we were or what we did, but, by God, we got first and second place!"
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Politicians are like diapers, they both need changed occasionally for the same reason.
Calling an illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant" is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist"
The hard work of one will do more than the prayer of millions. |