Need some advice...

[deuce91]

OK. I'm contemplating making some big changes in my life and thought I would run my idea by some people whose opinion I respect and that are removed from my whole situation.

I'm a white, single, 25 year old male living here in DC. I moved back to Dodge in 2002 after a very rocky time in college so the parents moved me back here. Very quickly I decided that I would have to get a degree if I ever wanted to have anything nice. So I worked full time and put myself through college and got a degree through FHSU's online program in 2005. After that, I got a good job here that pays the bills and then some allowing me to live very nicely. The parents are happy that I got my life together, but I feel like I'm missing out on so much. I've dated some girls here, but they aren't the intellectual types that I find attractive. (For me, it's all about the mind.) Plus, in Dodge, I really haven't found any guy friends just to hang out with either. So, my life consists of church, my house and the parents and grandparents.

About three months ago, I left for a conference in Denver. I fell in love with the big city. Not because of the bar scene or all of the things to do, but just the younger feeling I got. I felt 25 again, not 45. So, ever since then, I got the itch to move. I came back and told the parents that I was thinking about moving and they were not really that receptive to the whole idea. I started talking to a friend from Texas who was interested in moving to the KC area. I told him that if he found a job there, I would start looking for a job and we could be roommates. He came out to DC over the past week and we got along fine. So, on Friday he goes up to KC for an interview and lands the job. Now it crunch time for me.

Do I stay here and live in DC where I know I can live comfortably for the rest of my life and retire when I'm 54? Or do I "throw it all away" (according to the dad) and take a risk and move up to KC and start living the way a 25 year old should? If I can get a job that pays 45-55K a year, I would still be able to afford my mortgage and keep my house here and live there as well. I think that that sounds like a good plan and I think I've thought it all out, but the parents think that I'm making a big mistake. So, I'll throw it out to y'all...

[Lone Gunman]

You can't live your whole life to suit your parents. I think if you don't give KC a shot you will always wonder what would have been. If it doesn't work out you can always come back move into your house and start here again. Life is too short to wonder what if. Just my opinion I could be wrong.

[K C Muffin]

I agree. Your life is just beginning. I'll tell you like I told my oldest son. He was living in KC and working at a less than satisfying job. He said he wanted to try out his options and interviewed and was offered a job in Washington, D.C. The thing is, he was afraid to go. I told him I would respect any decision he made, but that I would be happier if he at least gave it a shot. I told him 2 years. If he still was not happy with the move, then there are still jobs in KC for him and he could come back. He agreed and went. He's happy, looking for a condo to buy, engaged to a wonderful girl and life goes on. I miss him, but I'm much happier knowing he's happy.

So. You're not completely satisfied with the status quo. Get out there and make changes! Test your wings! All you can do is come to the conclusion that life in Dodge was better. Then you move back. Easy! In the meantime, you don't have that little voice in your head, right?

Oh. And one other thing? Don't shoot for $45K a year. Shoot for the moon! And if you get up here and need a 'mom', I'm always available!

[jeezeweeze]

The old adage "Your only young once" is very true, and the question is are you a risk taker or are you content with your life as it is. Only you can decide whether to take the chance while you are young.

However 54 will sneak up on you and retiring at that age is still young, most folks just dream about that and don't have the means to do it. Maybe if you postpone your gratification now, you can still have a great life later on, and will have money and a home thats probably paid for.

Sorry, I know thats no help, but its the best I could do.

[dustinwadams5]

I say follow your gut on this one and if it says you need to try the big city life then go for it. Life is way to short to worry and wonder just give it a shot and if it don't work out then you can figure out what to do next. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them.

[hoarsewhisperer]

As one of the most overly protective parents on the plantet, I say GO! Weezie is right....age slips up on you, taps you on the shoulder and you're dazed at how quickly those years passed by. Life is a risk....and your risk is not physically dangerous. Mom and Pop will come around...trust me...I did Good Luck! Let us know!

[NoLongerInRadioGuy]

I Was facing the same thing as you not too long ago. I was living in Garden City, making a decent living, but my girlfriend and her family were moving to Dallas. I had a decision to make...should I stay in my comfortable world, where I knew all I needed (not all there was, but all I needed...), or go out and experience something new? It really didnt even have to do that much with the girl - it was about me expanding my horizons.

Now, from my experience, I will give ya some advice...

1. Go and visit the area first. You said you saw Denver - I like Denver, too...but you didnt say anything about KC. Go spend a weekend or a few days up there and see how ya like it. I am sure you can even find a lot about it on the internet.

2. I dont know what you do for a living or how martketable you think you are, but always keep in mind there is someone more qualified than you when applying for jobs in large areas. Be prepared to sell yourself. Have a game plan going into interviews. Look for job fairs.

3. If at all possible, have a job lined up before moving there. Most businesses will respect the two week notice thing - if they dont, then they probably arent worth working for. Look on the internet, then do some research on the companies that look promising. Post your resume on Monster.com and other websites like that.

4. If your buddy gets up there, gets a place with the idea of you and him splitting it and you are wanting to go, then do it! BUT....have some money saved up first - at least enough to get you through a couple months with no pay check. Never rely on credit cards to take care of ya. I learned that the hard way...but was able to battle out of it and now things are great, but it did take a few years.

5. Try not to settle on a job. When I moved to Dallas, there was nothing I wanted more than to work in radio - course, that was a big dream for anyone in radio, working in a major market like Dallas/FtWorth. I sent out a few resumes, went on a couple interviews, but didnt get hired, or didnt get offered a full time position. So, after my savigs almost was gone, and my credit cards almost max'ed out, I went to work in retail. Not a bad job, made ok money, but wasnt what I wanted to be doing. The problem is, when you are into the 40 hour weeks, you never seem to have time to get back in the swing looking for the career you really want. So, if you can, get to the major city and just job hunt til ya get what ya want.

6. One last note...wherever you are working and/or living, try to have them be somewhat close to each other. This is just my own personal opinion. I know it sure got old for me driving 30 minutes to work every day, and an hour home because of rush hour. your 8 hour day just became 10 because of the commute! But, this is also one of the "charms" of big city living.

Sometimes you have to take some chances in life...but at least the risks can be calculated and not just jumping into the unknown. I would tell ya to go for it, as long as you have done some planning ahead for it. I wouldnt trade my few years in Dallas for anything - met some good friends, have some great memories. But, after living there, I realized I prefer smaller communities, and came back here when a job was offered to me. You never know where life will take you, so dig in, cinch up the seat belt, and hold on - it could be a bumpy, wonderful ride!

[Craigb]

MOVE! Yet I would suggest not to KC, but to the spot you felt young again at! I can tell you from experience that Denver is still the place for young people to go to. After getting back to the world and out of the military, I moved to Denver. At that time, the girl to guy ratio was 10 gals to 1 guy. I doubt if it is that anymore, but I am also sure you would find more dateable young ladies there than in either DC or KC. There seems to me more to do in Denver that KC or DC put together. Then again, it is always nice to know someone when moving anywhere. The main thing is, that your going to have to live your life, and not your parents. Coming from me, that is about one of the silliest things I have said, because I also have a son about your age who will be doing the same thing soon. NO parents want their children to leave home, ever! One thing I would do first before anything, is find out what the job market is where ever you may be going. You can't live on dreams or maybe's, and you can't go back and do it over again! You have to live for yourself, and no one else until you find that "RIGHT" person you want to spend the rest of your life with!! Only you can answer if you want to stay here, move to KC, or too Denver! Just you and no one else! Don't live a life of regrets, living the life someone else wants you to live!

Lord, just listen to me!!! GEEEEZE! Old windbag! lolol

[deuce91]

Thanks for all of the advice. My gut is really telling me to do it. And I think radio's right. For me it's about broadening my horizons. Dodge is great, life's simple. But I'm afraid it's too simple for me. Perhaps if I had kids, things would be different. But I don't, and don't really want any right now. And it's not about all of the glitz of a big city, just all of the different people I could meet. The potential is great and I think a move would be good for me both professionally and personally. (And KC, I plan on shooting for the stars up there! I just get so damned excited thinking about it!)

[TexKan]

If it's something you desire to do and can make it happen - doit now - ain't nuthin like a big city to make ya marketable in many different ways. You are young, educated, and haven't made your mark on the world yet - go do it and enjoy. Small towns always tug at our hearts and the connection will be there no matter where ya live. Nothing ventured nothing gained - no matter what your age! Good luck!!