GOOD strict xmas

[wordsmythe]

I heard there is no Christmas
In the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus
They have different religious beliefs

They believe in Muhammad
And not in our holiday
And so every December
I go to the Middle East and say...

"Hey there Mr. Muslim
Merry ****ing Christmas
Put down that book the Koran
And hear some holiday wishes.

In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus's birthday.
So get off your heathen Muslim ass
and ****ing celebrate.

There is no holiday season in India I've heard
They don't hang up their stockings
And that is just absurd!

They've never read a Christmas story.
They don't know what Rudolph is about
And that is why in December
I'll go to India and shout...

Hey there Mr. Hinduist
Merry ****ing Christmas
Drink eggnog and eat some beef
And pass it to the missus.

In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus's birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass
and ****ing celebrate!

Now I heard that in Japan
Everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several gods
And put needles in their skin.

On December 25th
All they do is eat a cake
And that is why I go to Japan
And walk around and say...

Hey there Mr. Shintoist
Merry ****ing Christmas
God is going to kick your ass
You infidelic pagan scum.

In case you haven't noticed
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
And Merry ****ing Christmas to you.

On Christmas day I travel `round the world and say,
Taoists, Krishnas, Buddhists, and all you atheists too,
Merry ****ing Christmas, To You!

If anyone hasn't actually heard the song I've got it and would be happy to pass it along. It's quite funny.

[wordsmythe]

Kyle: It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas.
My friends wont let me join in any games.
And I cant sing Christmas songs
Or decorate a Christmas tree
Or leave water out for Rudolph
`Cause there's something wrong with me.
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity.

I'm a Jew,
A lonely Jew
On Christmas.
Hanukkah is nice but why is it
That Santa passes over my house every year?

And instead of eating ham I have to eat kosher latkes
Instead of Silent Night I'm singing
Hoo Hact Toh Gaveesh
And what the **** is up with lighting all these
****ing candles please?

I'm a Jew,
A lonely Jew
I can't be merry
`Cause I'm Hebrew
On Christmas.

Celebrity Guest: Hey little boy I couldn't help but hear
Your feeling left out of Christmas cheer
And I've come to say that you shouldn't be sad
This is the one month you should be glad

`Cause its nice to be a Jew on Christmas.
You don't have to deal with the season at all.
You don't have to be on your best behavior or give to charity.
You don't have to have to go to grandma's house with your alcoholic family.

Kyle: And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap
And have him breath is stinky breath on me.

Celebrity Guest: That's right, your a Jew!

Kyle: A styling Jew!

Together: Its a good time to be Hebrew,
On Christmas...

Celebrity Guest: On Christmas