Things I learned

[Flying Dutchman]

I have lived 36 of my 42 years here in Dodge City. I was born here, and more than likely will be buried here. That being said, here are few things I have learned from living here in my city:

Waving to other motorists is a requirement when they make eye contact.

Quiche is not food.

It is pronounced “Kan-suss”. “Kan-siss” is how wusses say it.

Football is religion.

There are two College Conferences: The Big 12 and all those other pansies.

A person’s word used to be more binding than a signature.

Graffiti is not art.

A woman on horseback is sexy.

A good days work would be considered torture by UN standards.

The job is not finished if you are not bleeding.

“Get the hell out of Dodge” was meant to be taken literally.

Cowboy boots are not meant to be any other color than brown or black. Colored boots are gay.

Feathers belong on Indians or birds, not hats.

A swift kick in the ass is more effective than a timeout.

There is a difference between a spanking and a beating. One gets your attention, the other is abuse.

School and war zone did not mean the same thing.

All teachers had the same name….Sir or Ma’am.

Real engines rumble and roar, they do not hum and whine.

Trucks are meant to sit higher than cars and a ball hitch is not an accessory.

Friend and neighbor used to said in the same sentence, one right after the other.

Drive by shootings used to mean hunting pheasants in road ditches out of the back of your truck.

Deer and skunks are suicidal.

Every town is a rival, until it needs help.

Everything East of Wichita is a different state.

Sunday meant fried chicken, regardless.

“Washer” is pronounced “warsher”. The “R” is silent when spelling it.

You ask your girlfriend for a crescent wrench and she doesn’t ask what it looks like.

Your parents knew you did something wrong before you even finished doing it.

You didn’t know rivers actually had water in them.

Fishing is considered quality time.

You were more likely to meet a Martian before meeting a vegetarian.

Steak and potatoes make up the necessary food groups.

[K C Muffin]

[notyoubob]

“Washer” is pronounced “warsher”. The “R” is silent when spelling it

Many years ago I was working at a resort hotel on Cape Cod. Most of the other seasonable workers were privileged college kids from Boston or Connecticut. One day I said I was going to do my "warsh" and was met with jeers of derision from my oh-so-prawper-colleagues. "Warsh," they guffawed. "Where'd you get that extra 'r"," they snidely asked.
"From your pahk and your cah," I responded.
And then we drank a bottle of vodker.
Kansas raisin' rules!!!

[Highwayman]

I remember when the driving distance wasn’t measured in miles but in the number of beers consumed.

[Made in the USA]

Originally Posted by Highwayman

I remember when the driving distance wasn’t measured in miles but in the number of beers consumed.

That's how I still time my barbeque--

[Clueless]

I wasn't born and raised here, so I need to be informed:

1) Why is rural pronounced without the r. I hear "ru..al" a lot.

2) Why is drought pronounced as "drougth" That one always stumps me. Even hear it on TV from news and weather announcers.

3) Ar-kansas river always makes me stop and think before I say it. I've learned to almost sound like a native, but, my upbringing caused me to pronounce creek as "crick". Can't begin to break that habit.

All these are just regional variations - makes us proud to be from where we begun.

[KONQ RADIO]

Hey Buddy, get a clue..

[jackknife]

My friends and I used to try to keep a list of the things that could only happen in Dodge City. Like:
Only in Dodge City can a car get side swiped by a stage coach.
Only in Dodge City could the convenience store be robbed by a cattle prod.

I like yours. Let me add a few. I've learned:
That as soon as you get pulled over for speeding your dad will drive by, stop and have a nice long chat with the police while you are still in your car. Nothing like getting in trouble twice at once.

No matter where you go, if you meet someone else from Kansas you are new best friends and probably know many of the same people.

I learned that the tornado sirens mean run outside, climb on your roof and see what is going on.

A good neighbor will have a list of license plate numbers of every car that stopped by your house while you were away for a week. They'll have talked to a few of the visitors too.

I've learned that bad times beget casseroles from friends and neighbors and casseroles make bad times better.

Family comes in many shapes and sizes and very often your "family" isn't always related.

[K C Muffin]

Originally Posted by jackknife

I learned that the tornado sirens mean run outside, climb on your roof and see what is going on.

That's funny Happened here last night. Sirens went off in Johnson County and when I got home, the whole neighborhood was standing outside in the cul de sac looking up.

[dodgehighforeve]

Sirens went off several times here too. At work, we were all standing at the door hoping to see 'em.