Parenting

[jackknife]

I've been thinking a lot about parenting lately. I am not a parent yet and I'm not sure I ever will be but I've been wondering about how other people came to the conclusion that being a parent was something they wanted to do.

When you were growing up was it just something you knew you wanted to do or did it feel more like the next step in life that everyone was suppose to take?

I really believe that parenting is the most important job and I think that is why I think about it so much. I'm especially interested in the men and whether or not they also felt a biological clock ticking so so speak that lead them to really want to be fathers.

So, for everyone, was it something you consciously decided to do?
Was it something you didn't really think about and just did?
Did you feel a need or an urge to be a parent?

[K C Muffin]

You've really put a lot of thought into this. That's a good thing. Some humans don't realize the enormity of bringing another life into the world.

I had both my kids before I was 24. That's very young these days. If I had it to do over, I'd do the same thing - as luck would have it, I was no longer able to have children when I was 26. I will be young enough to really enjoy my grandchildren and all their activities.

Times were different then. It's kind of silly to say it was simpler, but it was. I never had to worry about my kids when they went outside to play. Or that teachers would abuse them in school. I never mistrusted my day care givers. I never, ever had to advise my children to tell me if another adult touched them inappropriately. Maybe I was just lucky.

I'm anxious to hear the other responses....

[jackknife]

You know, this is another subject but I think the truth about abductions and such are that they aren't any more prevalent than they were. It was just that we used to only hear about the incidences in our area instead of nationwide. I just watched a Penn and Teller show about how we have developed this fear based culture where we fear for our kids to even play outside and interact with the outside world. We are convinced that there are molesters waiting at every park which in reality just isn't true.

That should probably be another thread.

KC, I have thought about this. A whole lot. My husband and I talk about it all the time too and for us unless we are so very certain that we can give adequate care and love and support for a child then we probably won't have one. I don't think it is a job to take on unless you absolutely know.

I'm just curious as to how others came to their conclusions.

[Army_of_One]

Being in the military for 20+ years I wanted to wait to be a parent. When I was younger I didn't want the responsibility of a child nor put the raising of the child off on my wife because I was gone a lot.

I waited until I was almost finished with my career to have my first child. I wanted to be both financially secure and responsible enough to give my daughter the best chance she can have to make it in this world. I'm glad I waited.

[K C Muffin]

Oh, yeah - I kinda left out the important part of your question...

I was from a large family (Catholic) and hubby #1 was from a middle-sized (Catholic) family. You all know the teachings of the Catholic church when it comes to birth control. More importantly, our upbringing taught us that families with children were the one thing to accede to. We didn't know anything different. Had I known different, I might have been more cautious, but the way it turned out was perfect.

[Jolly Rancher]

I was one of those parents that decided to become a parent when the pregnancy test showed positive. Not in my plans. Well, that was 26 years ago, and I am just now getting over the shock.

[Bound]

I didn't really grow up thinking I wanted to have kids but by the time I was in my early 20's I knew I did and felt a real desire to have them, I called that my biological clock. I got married when I was 24 and had my first baby when I was 25. Even while I was pregnant with my first child I would talk about the second child. (I know thats kinda weird) I knew I wanted two kids and now thats what I have, an eleven year old and an 8 year old.

Although I love my kids and wouldn't have it any other way, my advice would be to follow what is inside. If you don't have that desire to have kids then don't and if you do then do.

Good luck no matter what you choose.

[Made in the USA]

Like JR says, you fall in love, get married, and for some reason--the Wife gets pregnant!? It can be kind of scary at first, but the time I spent with my kids and as a family, were the greatest times of my life! Now, they are grown with kids of their own, and I don't get to see them much.

[meadmice]

I'm not sure why, but I know I want at least one kid. Like my mom, I'd like one of each, she wanted the boy first, but got me instead. I think boy/girl twins would be kinda cool, but not likely as twins don't run in either of our families. It seems to me that it's why we're on this earth, to procreate... One reason is also that my hubby is the last of his line...his dad's only child, so if he doesn't have any kids, the line dies out. He's got cousins and stuff, and two half bro's from his moms 1st marriage, but no full siblings. My bro and his gf are expecting, just found that out a couple weeks ago. She's about 2mo along, due at the end of March, and they're getting married in October.

[Army_of_One]

The sad thing about our society is that there are so many pregnancies where people are not ready to have a child, not financially secure enough and don't make the child a priority. When I hear of a young child "baking" in the car while their mom or dad was in a club or casino makes me want to take care of them myself. It pisses me off to no end. Having a child is a huge responsibility and should be something that should be prepared for.