A Sign In the Bank Lobby

[Lone Gunman]

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
>
> 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller
> machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their
> vehicles.
> Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
> outlined below when accessing their accounts.'
>
> After months of careful observation, MALE and FEMALE procedures have
> beendeveloped based on the majority of customers' habits.
>
> MALE PROCEDURE:
> 1. Drive up to the cash machine.
> 2. Put down your car window.
> 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
> 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
> 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
> 6. Put window up.
> 7. Drive off.
>
> FEMALE PROCEDURE:
> 1. Drive up to cash machine.
> 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
> machine.
> 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
> 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
> card.
> 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
> 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
> 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
> distance from the car.
> 8. Insert card.
> 9. Re-insert card the right way.
> 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
> inside back page..
> 11. Enter PIN.
> 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
> 13. Enter amount of cash required.
> 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
> 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
> 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
> 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
> checkbook.
> 18. Re-check makeup.
> 19. Drive forward 2 feet.
> 20. Reverse back to cash machine.
> 21. Retrieve card.
> 22. Re-empty handbag, locate cardholder, and place card into the slot
> provided.
> 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
> 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
> 25. Redial person on cell phone.
> 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
> 27. Release Parking Brake.

[Bubba]