Laws Of Physics

[Lone Gunman]

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease
your nose will begin to itch, or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the
least accessible corner.

Law of probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional
to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never
get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work
because you had a flat tire,
the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in
will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Bath Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in water,
the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work,
it will.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are
furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to
do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs and Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jam Sandwich
landing face down on a floor covering are directly
correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like,
they will stop making It.

[lurker]

Kellit's laws:

WINDOW WASHING: it's on the other side.

FALLING OBJECTS: small falling objects find immediate refuge under larger objects.

SEX APPEAL: is directly proportional to your flatulence factor.