a bit long ...but funny

[jeezeweeze]

>
>
> When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to
take it
> out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
> someone you don't know....
>
>
> I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd
forgotten
> to make. I dialed what I thought was Robyn's number A man answered.
>
> "Hello."
>
> I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn?"
>
> Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear, "There's no Robyn
here, get
> the right f**king number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I
> couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude!
>
>
>
> When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found
that I
> had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up
with
> her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
>
> When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an
*******!" and
> hung up.
> I wrote his number down with the word '*******' next to
it,
> and put it in my desk drawer.
> Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a
really
> bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an *******!" ...It always
> cheered me up.
> When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic
> "******* calling" would have to stop. So, I called his number and
said,
> "Hi, this is John Smith from Verizon. I'm calling to see if you're
> familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
> He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
>
> I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an
*******!"
>
>
> So a few months later I was at the store, getting ready to pull
into a
> parking spot when some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into
the
> spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd
been
> waiting for that spot, but the ******* just turned and had the nerve
to
> flip me the bird. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window,
which
> included his phone number, so I wrote down the number. A couple of
days
> later, right after calling the first ******* (I had his number on
speed
> dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW *******, too.
> I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
> "Yes, it is," he said.
> "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
> "Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd., in Ventura. It's a
yellow
> house, and the car's parked right out in front."
> "What's your name?" I asked.
> "My name is Don Hansen," he said.
> "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
> "I'm home every evening after five."
> "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
> "Yes?"
> "Don, you're an *******!" Then I hung up, and added his
number
> to my speed dial.
> Now, when I had a problem, I had two *******s to call.
>
> Then I came up with an idea... I called ******* #1.
> "Hello."
> "You're an *******!" But I didn't hang up.
> "Are you still there?" he asked.
> "Yeah," I said.
> "Stop calling me," he screamed.
> "Make me," I said.
> "Who are you?" he asked.
> "My name is Don Hansen."
> "Yeah? Where do you live?"
> "*******, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd in Ventura, a yellow
> house, with my black Beamer parked in front."
> He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had
better
> start saying your prayers."
> I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, *******," and hung
up.
> Then I called ******* #2.
>
> "Hello?" he said.
> "Hello, *******!" I said.
> He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
> "You'll what?" I said.
> "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
> I answered, "Well, *******, here's your chance. I'm
coming
> over right now."
> Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying
that
> I lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Ventura, and that I was on my way over
there
> to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war
> going down in Mowbray Blvd., Ventura.
> I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I
got
> there just in time to watch the two *******s beating the crap out of
each
> other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter, and a
news
> crew.
> NOW I feel much better.
> Anger Management really works....
>

[TexKan]

God my list for that is more than just 2 folks............ but I know 2 I could start with!!!!................. LMAO