Diaries

[TexKan]

A DOG'S DIARY
> 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!

> 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

> 9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

> Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!

> 2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!

> 3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

> 4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!

> 6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favourite!

> 7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!

> 8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

> 9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!

> 11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favourite!

> A CAT'S DIARY

> Day 183 of my captivity.

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
>objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
>cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
>the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may
>eat another house plant.

> Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
>while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the
>top of the stairs.

> In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I
>once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. I must try
>this on their bed.

> Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
>attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
>fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
>good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

> There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
>placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could
>hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my
>confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called
>"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

> I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
>snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
>return. He is obviously a half-wit.

> The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He
>speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move.
>Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
>But I can wait.

It's only a matter of time.