bad santa

[jeezeweeze]

Bad Santa Replies


deer santa:

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.

Yer Frend,

BiLLy

Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read

and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!

Santa


Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace

and joy in the world for everybody!

Love,

Sarah

Dear Sarah,

Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

Santa




Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.

Love,

Teddy

Dear

Teddy,

Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those?

Santa




Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a

pony and a tuba.

Love,

Francis

Dear Francis,

Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.

Santa




Dear Santa,

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE

could I have one?

Timmy

Timmy,

That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.

Santa