mammogram practice

[jeezeweeze]

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need
to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the
exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for
the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and
around your home.

EXERCISE ONE:
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door.


Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door

for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case


the first time wasn't effective enough.

EXERCISE TWO:

Visit your garage at 3AMwhen the temperature of the cement floor is
just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor
with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to
slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and
chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.

EXERCISE THREE:
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a
stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your
breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an
appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.


YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!

[Helper]

Just to let you know I am here to "help" I am offering *free* mammograms, of course you must pass the pre screening, I may be shallow but I have a few standards!

[TexKan]

Standards - schmanderds.............. see that right there is why we have learned to do our own exams.................... and other things.................. LOL LOL

[Made in the USA]

I have a GYN certification license. Got it over the internet from the same people that produce "Hooked On Phonics"!! Graduated near the "top" of the class in Mammograms! Am near the "bottom" on Pap Smears! At breakfast, I prefer "chocolate or vanilla"! For lunch break, I like to eat at the Y! At dinner, a buffet is nice!

[Helper]

ok I admit I am sorry, I made this go way downhill very fast!! Oh well! such as life!

[Made in the USA]

Tha's OK Helper! I been downhill most of my life anyway!!

[Highwayman]

Helper, there’s plenty of folks here that can take a thread downhill all by themselves without any help. It’s the Funny Bone, so go for it and enjoy the downhill slide!

[booger]

Sick ?

[Helper]

but my fear with it going "downhill" is that we will all end up on Wyatt Earp, and we may never be found as today all I saw was Brake Easy's crew and they might cement us in!

[TexKan]

I think we basically are just a downhill crew........... whether we have cement or not!................ ain't no big thing!!........... oh wait that's what we keep tellin Mit............ but he never listens!! LOL LOL

I know me an Weezie enjoy a slide in the mud now and then!