You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One!

[mookiekate]

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years
Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on,
covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived
and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in
the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the
cat shut in the house, because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The
cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife
doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the
night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon,
"He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said,
as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to
poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take
off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket
to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass
downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cab driver hit a parked car...

**********************
Hi Everyone, this is my first post and I thought I'd start it with a bang.

[BroncoFan]

Welcome, MOOK! That's the way to start it off!

[lurker]

Welcome mookie.....

You need a good doG.

[Sherry_Giskie]

>Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
>
>6:00am - At last! I Go Pee! My favorite thing!
>
>8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
>
>9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
>
>9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
>
>10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
>
>12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
>
>1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
>
>3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
>
>5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
>
>6:00 pm - They're home! My favorite thing!
>
>7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
>
>8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
>
>11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>
>
>
>Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
>
>Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
>little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
>other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I
>make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must
>eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps
>me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once
>again vomit on the carpet.
>
>Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
>
>I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
>demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
>condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. >
>There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
>placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
>could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
>confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
>means, and how to use it to my advantage.
>
>Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
>tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
>again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the
>other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special
>privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing
>to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an
>informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am
>certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged
>protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For
>now...

[Detector]

Thats Great!!!

And welcome

[hoarsewhisperer]

Originally Posted by mookiekate

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years
Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on,
covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived
and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in
the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the
cat shut in the house, because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The
cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife
doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the
night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon,
"He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said,
as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to
poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take
off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket
to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass
downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cab driver hit a parked car...

**********************
Hi Everyone, this is my first post and I thought I'd start it with a bang.

[lurker]

LEMONS

To a kat: ~pucker~

To a doG: ~I get to watch the kat pucker. THAT'S GREAT!~