Ladies...PLEASE READ THIS!

[NoLongerInRadioGuy]

I am posting this to reveal secrets of the male mind....these were all top secret until I decided you women should know them. Men all get this in the manual on How To Be Male, which we all get on our 15th birthday...

Now here are the rules from the male side .
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one :
Subtle hints do not work !
Strong hints do not work !
Obvious hints do not work !
Just say it!

1 Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving
it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument
In fact , all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won 't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls,
don't
Expect us to act like soap opera guys.


1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of
the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say
during
commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do
we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also
a
fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act
like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect
an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
is
fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to
discuss such topics as SEX, CARS , the shotgun formation,
or BASKETBALL.


1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like
camping.

[jeezeweeze]

So True

And those are all the number 1 reasons we love and want you soooooooooo much...cause we have this genetic curse to try to change you....the more perceived "flaws" you have....the better we function.....

ITS JUST A WOMAN THANG.....

[wordsmythe]

Fits with my basic theory of men and women entering into relationships.

But first the joke that illustrates the theory...

Why does a bride smile on her wedding day?




























































Because she knows
she's given her last BJ.




Now the theory.

A woman goes into a relationship thinking the things she doesn't like will change.

A man goes into the relationship thinking the thinks he likes won't change.

They are both wrong.

[TexKan]

You been married HOW long NLIR?................. LOL LOL

[NoLongerInRadioGuy]

Nine months....still have a lot to learn, huh!!! Inherited a 4 year old and seven year old...two boys...and just got back from the doctor with the wife - and we will have another mouth to feed sometime towards the end of the year or first of next year! This will be her third...she is so calm about it...and my first - and I am a nervous wreck!

[TexKan]

Well buddy........... all those rules?????............ they just went out with dead rabbit!!! LOL LOL

Congratulations!!!!

[Made in the USA]

Congratulations Radio!!!

[mommiedearestx3]

NLIRG, maybe you need to talk to Army since he's a fairly "new" daddy. I'm sure he can tell you a lot of good stories and the do's and don'ts of being a hubby of a pregnant lady.

Congrats to you and the family.

[K C Muffin]

Congrats, NLIRG & the Mrs! No matter how matter of fact she makes you think she is, inside she's really happy! It's all inside, Guy, all inside. Us wimmen folk like to keep it that way so's ya don't know what we're thinkin!!!

[NoLongerInRadioGuy]

Thanks for the good wishes everyone! It will definitely be an adventure. We had her first appointment today with Doc Choti. Of course, I had no idea what to expect. I got to watch the ultrasound - they said she is about 8 weeks along. All I saw was a white spot on a screen in a black pocket. It all got put into perspective when I saw a squiggly white line on the bottom of the screen - and the lady doing it told us it was the heartbeat. That little white spot took on a whole new meaning to me!