ouch not nice

[jeezeweeze]

January 1 2009

HILLARY'S FIRST NIGHT AS PRESIDENT






Hillary Clinton

Was sworn in today as President

She has disposed of Bill and is spending her

first night alone in the White House.

She has waited several years for this.



FIRST NIGHT

Suddenly!

The ghost of George Washington appears to her,

and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"





Washington says, "Never tell a lie."

"Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that."



SECOND NIGHT

The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...

Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"

Jefferson says,




"Listen to the people."

"Ohhh! I really don't want to do that."



THIRD NIGHT

On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...

Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"







Lincoln says,

"Go to the theater."

[jeezeweeze]

> Subject: George W Bush
>
>
>
>
> President George W. Bush was scheduled to
> visit the Episcopal Church outside
> Washington as part of his campaign to restore
> his pathetic poll standings.
> His image handler made a visit to the Bishop
> and said, "We've been getting a
> lot of bad publicity because of the
> president's position on stem cell
> research, the Iraq war, Hurricane Katrina, and
> the Veterans
> Administration. We'll make a $100,000
> contribution to your church if during
> your sermon you will say that the President is
> a saint.
>
> The Bishop thought it over for a few moments
> and finally said, "The Church
> is desperate for funding - I'll do it."
>
> Bush showed up for the sermon and the Bishop
> bega n: "I'd like to speak to
> you all this morning about our President.
> George W. Bush is a
> liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel.
> He took the tragedy of
> September 11 and used it to frighten and
> manipulate the American people.
>
> "He lied about weapons of mass destruction and
> invaded Iraq for oil and
> money, causing the deaths of tens of thousands
> and making the United States
> the most hated country on earth. He appointed
> cronies to positions of power
> and influence, leading to widespread death and
> destruction during Hurricane
> Katrina. He awarded contracts and tax cuts to
> his rich friends so that we
> now have more poverty in this country and a
> greater gap between rich and
> poor than we've had since the Depression.
>
> "He has headed the most corrupt,
> bribe-inducing political party since Teapot
> Dome.
>
> "The national surplus has turned into a
> staggering national debt of 7.6
> trillion Dollars, gas prices are up 85%, which
> the people of America cannot
> afford, and vital research into global warming
> and stem cells is stopped
> cold because he's afraid to lose votes from
> religious kooks.
>
> "He is the worst example of a true Christian
> I've ever known.
>
> "But compared to Dick Cheney, George W. Bush
> is a saint."
>
>