Bill and Hillary

[Flying Dutchman]

Bill Clinton was visiting England and had a chance to talk with the queen.
"Your Highness, how do you pick people worthy to be on your cabinet?"
"Well Bill, I ask them a riddle every morning. By answering the riddle it shows me they are a thinking person. Here comes Mr. Blair now. Watch..."
Tony Blair enters the room and says good morning to the Queen. She aks him: "Tony....If your parents have a child, and it is neither your sister, nor your brother, who is it?"
"Why it is me your highness." and he walks out of the room. Bill was impressed and took this knowledge home with him. While eating breakfast, Bill turned to Hillary and explained what he had learned from the Queen. "For instance" he said, "Let's say your parents had a kid, and it aint your sister and it aint your brother, who is it?"
"I don't know" she said. "Let me think about it."
"Ok Hillary. I will give you a week."

A few days later Hillary is having lunch with Barrak Obama. "Let me ask you something Barrak. If your mom and dad had a kid, and it wasn't your sister or brother, who would it be?"
"Thats easy Hillary, it would be me."

Hillary meets Bill later that day. She tells him she has the answer to the riddle. "It's easy Bill, the child would be Barrak Obama."

"Hillary", Bill says with a chuckle, "you are soooooooo damn stupid. It's not Barrak..........the kid is Tony Blair."

[Highwayman]

Bill, Hillary and Vice President Gore were on their way back to washington on air Force One, when Bill said " I'd like to drop a $100 bill out of the plane and make one person very happy".
Hillary thought for a moment then replied "I’d rather drop ten, $10 bills out and make ten people very happy".
To which Vice President Gore said " I would drop a hundred $1 bills out and make a hundred people very happy".

The pilot then spoke up and said " Why don't all three of you jump out and make 250 million people very happy?"

*****

Bill and Hillary Clinton go to a Yankees game together. They had VIP seats in the first row. All of a sudden, a secret service agent comes up to Bill and whispers in his ear. A few seconds later, Bill grabs Hillary and throws her out onto the field! The SS agent comes running back to Bill and says, "Mr. President, sir, I think you misunderstood me. I said throw out the first pitch."

*****

Three Boy Scouts, in uniform, were fishing in a boat one day when they heard cries for help. They followed the sounds and found another boat capsized as a man struggled to keep his head above water. Being Boy Scouts, they went to his aid and fished the man out.
As it turned out, the man was Bill Clinton. The president toweled himself off and caught his breath, and thanked the three scouts. He asked if there was anything he could do for them.
"I'd sure like a tour of the White House," the first scout said.
"No problem," said Bill. "How's next week?"
"I'd sure love to go for a ride in Air Force One," said the second scout.
"We'll leave aboard her tonight," Bill replied.
"I'd like to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery," said the third.
"I'm sure we can arrange that," said Bill. "But son, you're awfully young to be worrying about that, aren't you?"
"You don't know my Dad," the scout replied. "When he finds out I helped save your life, he's gonna kill me!"

*****

One day Bill Clinton was talking to Hillary. He was going on a vacation and before he left said, "Whatever you do don't look under my bed." So while Bill was on vacation Hillary got curious and decided to look under his bed. She found a million dollars and 2 empty beer cans. When Bill came home she said, "What's with the two beer cans under your bed?" Bill replied, "Oh. That marks all the times I've cheated on you." "Well, I forgive you," said Hillary, "But then what's with the million dollars?" He replied, "I've started to recycle."

*****

President Clinton decided to buy a puppy as a present for Hillary. He snuck the puppy under his coat into the White House and as he was walking down one of the halls he comes upon Al Gore. Clinton could not hold back his joy and shared his surprise with the Vice President.
"Look what I got for Hillary!" exclaims Clinton, holding up the puppy.
Al Gore stares for a moment, then his eyes brighten up as he says, "Nice trade, sir!"

*****