Man Gift Rules

[TexKan]

Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he Already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. 'Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?' 'OK. 'By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?' Again, no one knows why.

Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.

Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

Rule #6: Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.

Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.

Rule #8: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink. You get the idea. No one knows why.

Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says 'some assembly required' on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.

Rule #10: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. 'From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.')

Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. 'Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?'

Rule #12: Tickets to a Red Wing/Lions/Pistons/Tigers game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to 'A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts.' Everyone knows why.

Rule #13: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8' manila rope. No one knows why.

[jeezeweeze]

Allot of truth in that

[dodgehighforeve]

Originally Posted by jeezeweeze

Allot of truth in that

But no one knows why.

[jeezeweeze]

Originally Posted by dodgehighforeve

But no one knows why.

Very Good ! foflmao

[Highwayman]

Originally Posted by TexKan

Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he Already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

Cordless drills are normally bought as a kit with two batteries, a battery charger and case for about the price of two replacement batteries. When the first battery died I replaced it @ $38. When I saw a kit on sale for $35 with two batteries that interchanged with the drill I already had I bought a second for the extra batteries. I also have a HD 3/8” corded drill and two 1/2” corded drills. Please don’t buy me another drill.

Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. 'Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?' 'OK. 'By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?' Again, no one knows why.

Please don’t. I already have a complete set from 1/4” to 3/4” from when I was in the automotive business.

Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

Again, no. I have a box of ice scrapers that I bought at clearance that I’m still working through, I don’t use deicer and have half a can setting around and I don’t hang crap from my rear view mirror. (I might make an exception with some fuzzy dice when I get the ’56 Olds restored but until then no thanks.)

Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.

I’m old enough to pick out my own clothes, thank you. A gift card to Sheplers would be well received however. Tony Lamas run about $200 and up.

Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

Every piece of equipment comes with a universal remote. You get one with the TV, the VCR, the DVD, and the dish or cable. You can salvage the batteries before throwing most of them in a drawer somewhere.

Rule #6: Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.

Agreed.

Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.

I’ve had a full beard for 35 years and don’t like most perfume smells. The smell of burnt Castor oil from a race engine would be good if you can find some.

Rule #8: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink. You get the idea. No one knows why.

I do not now or ever had the desire for a label maker. My memory is fine and I don’t need damn labels cluttering up the clean lines of my tool boxes, cabinets, etc.

Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says 'some assembly required' on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.

I don’t have a problem with that either. Often I get called to bail out some woman that thought she was smart enough to follow directions only to find out the directions were written in China and poorly translated making them useless.

Rule #10: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. 'From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.')

Also Cabela’s, Bass Pro Shop, Gander Mountain and Sportsman’s Warehouse. Again, get gift cards. The crap on clearance is marked down cheap for a reason.

Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. 'Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?'

I prefer multiple 35lb tanks over a single 100lb tank. Please don’t give me something that needs repaired, I already have enough chores.

Rule #12: Tickets to a Red Wing/Lions/Pistons/Tigers game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to 'A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts.' Everyone knows why.

I’d rather have tickets to the Winter Nationals.

Rule #13: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

See the comments about gift cards. You can’t possibly know what features I would want in a chainsaw.

Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

I already have a good wheelbarrow, two extension ladders and three step ladders. Go for a gift card to Home Depot or Lowe’s.

Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8' manila rope. No one knows why.

My Dad taught me how to tie a hangman’s noose when I was young. I could use the rope to hang whoever wrote this list.

[TexKan]

Nothing says "I'm too lazy to look for an appropriate gift" like a gift card - quote from my oldest son.

Would tell ya who to hang the noose on but my guess is some man made up the list and I hate to hear the gagging and whinning a man does when he has a noose around his neck. Just kind of a sad sound in my mind!