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01-19-2006, 08:06 PM
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| A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender. The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him, "What's your IQ?" The man replies "150" and the robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming factors, quantum physics and spirituality, biomimicry, environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nano-technology, and sexual proclivities. The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This is really cool." He decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink and asks him, "What's your IQ?" The man responds, "about a 100." Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football, NASCAR, baseball, supermodels, favorite fast foods, guns, and women's breasts. Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot one more test. He heads out and returns, the robot serves him and asks, "What's your IQ?" The man replies, "Er, 50, I think." And the robot says... real slowly... "So.............. yaaaaaa gonna vooooote for Buuuuush aaaaagain?"
__________________ Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?"     |
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01-19-2006, 10:52 PM
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__________________ Politicians are like diapers, they both need changed occasionally for the same reason. Calling an illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant" is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist" The hard work of one will do more than the prayer of millions. |
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01-20-2006, 01:30 AM
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| Just had to share this one An ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids. The shopkeeper asks "Are they twins"? The woman says "No, he's 9 and she's 7. "Why? Do you think they look alike?" "No", he replies, "I just can't believe you got laid twice"! |
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01-23-2006, 03:53 PM
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| One morning Dick Cheney and George W. Bush were having brunch at a restaurant. The attractive waitress asks Cheney what he would like and he replies, "I'll have a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit." "And what can I get for you, sir?" she asks George W. He replies, "How about a quickie?" "Why, Mr. President," the waitress says, "How rude. You're starting to act like Mr. Clinton and you've just started your second term in office! As the waitress storms away, Cheney leans over to Bush and whispers, "It's pronounced 'quiche.'"
__________________ Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?" |
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01-24-2006, 04:23 PM
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| A bug traveling 65 mph slams into a windshield. What's the last thing on his mind? his ass
__________________ Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?" |
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01-24-2006, 05:26 PM
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| It takes guts to do that.....
__________________ Quote:
"Wal-Mart, you may want to look into this." |
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01-24-2006, 06:54 PM
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| A bug is traveling at 65 mph???? Must be a fast bug there Hoarsie!!  |
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01-24-2006, 07:16 PM
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| Faster then a speeding bullet. Must be a bullet bug.
__________________ If You Really Want To do Something You Will Find A Way, If You Don't You Will Find An Excuse. |
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01-24-2006, 08:10 PM
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| ok ok, so i told it wrong...i was listening in a hurry when my husband told it to me 
__________________ Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?" |
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01-24-2006, 09:43 PM
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| Just had to "har-ass" you a little. by the way, it was funny!! |
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