Joke Bank

[TexKan]

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a
male buffalo with the other.

He says to the waiter, "Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Sure, Chief, coming right up."

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.

The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the
buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter
everywhere, then just walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand
pulling another male buffalo with the other.
He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Whoa, Chief! We're still cleaning up your mess
from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?"

The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Training for position in United
States Congress: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day

[hoarsewhisperer]

THE GRAPES OF WRATH

<img src = "http://www.geocities.com/justpammmy/grapes-of-wrath.jpg">

[lurker]

SoCal's latest window decal.

[lurker]

Amazing Pepsi burp video.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...44338798619086

[Bubba]

Amazing!

[TexKan]

Buenos Dias!!

Jou Have Yust Received A Mehican Birus!!!!!
Since We Not So Technologically Adbanced In Mehico, Dis Is A Manual Birus.

Please Delete All The Files On Jour Hard Drive Jourself And Send This
E-mail To Eberyone Jou Know.

Tan Jou Por Yelping Me.

Julio Manuel Jose Rodirguez Garcia

Mexican Hacker

[lurker]

Who-lee-o,

Thanks.

[lurker]

I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out.

She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.

I said, "A folding bottle."

She said, "Okay, what do you call it?"

"A Fottle."

"What else do you have?"

"A folding carton." "What do you call it?"

"A Farton."

She sniggered and said, "Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude."

I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket.

[lurker]

Ahkmed the Arab came to the United States from the Middle East. He was only here a few months when he became very ill.

He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help him.

Finally, he went to an Arab doctor who said: "Take dees bocket, go into
de odder room, poop in de bocket, pee on de poop, and den put your
head down over de bocket and breathe in de fumes for ten minutes."

Ahkmed took the bucket, went into the other room, pooped in the
bucket, peed on the poop, bent over and breathed in the fumes for ten
minutes. He then attempted to light some hash..... and .... KABOOM!

Ahkmed ascended to allah and was immediately interspersed among the anal remains of his fellow believers. To allah he said, "It worked. I feel terrific! What was wrong with me?"

The all knowing allah said, "You were homesick! You were horney! Welcome to heaven... now find the virgins..."

[lurker]

ART OF SPIN

Judy, a professional genealogical researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton's great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows.

On the back of the picture is this inscription: "Remus Rodham; horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in
1889."


Judy emailed Hillary Clinton @NY. Gov for comments. Hillary's staff of professional image adjusters cropped Remus's picture, scanned it, enlarged the image, and edited it with image processing software so that all that's seen is a head shot.

The accompanying biographical sketch is as follows:

"Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."