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12-20-2006, 04:58 PM
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| It's funnee how the duck's right there in trouble with the critter...
__________________ Quote:
"Wal-Mart, you may want to look into this."     |
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12-21-2006, 07:29 AM
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| CHRISTMAS CLASSIC HOLIDAY RUM CAKE 1 or 2 Quarts Rum 1 TSP Sugar 1 Cup Dried Fruit 1 TSP Baking Powder 1 TSP Baking Soda 1 Cup Butter 1 TSP Lemon Juice 2 Large Eggs Nuts Brown Sugar Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Good, isn't it? Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check rum again. It must be just right. To be sure the rum is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of thugar and beat again. Meanwhile, it's important to make sure the rum is of the finest quality - try another cup. Open the second quart of rum, if necessary. Add two arge leggs, two cups of fried druit and beat until high. If the druit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the rum again, checking for tonscisticity. Next, sift free cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn't matter). Sample the bum again. Sift one pine of lemon juice. Add one babblespoon of brown thugar, or whatever color you can find. Mix mell. Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Now pour the whole mess into the coven and ake. Check the thum again and go to bed.
__________________ Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?" |
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01-17-2007, 01:37 PM
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| The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!" "The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife". The agent said, "Then you 're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home." The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home." Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair." MORAL: Women are evil Don't mess with them!!!!!!!!
__________________  ΜOΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ Three groups spend other people's money: children, thieves, and politicians. All three need supervision. —DICK ARMEY Click here to view Democrat’s comments on Iraq and WMD’s |
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01-20-2007, 01:51 AM
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| Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!" She says, "Well, put them here between my thighs and that will warm them up." After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, "Man! my hands are really freezing!" She says again, "Well, put them here between my thighs and warm them up." He does, and again that warms him up. After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop some wood to get them through the night. When he returns, he says again, "Honey, my hands are really freezing!" She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud, don't your ears ever get cold?" |
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02-06-2007, 06:23 AM
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| We've all experienced deja vu in our lives, but did you know there are many variants of deja Vu that you may have throughout your life? Deja boo: The feeling that I've been frightened like this before Deja coup: The feeling my government has been overthrown like this before. Deja clue: The feeling that colonel mustard has done it in the billiard room with the lead pipe before. Deja do: The feeling my hairdresser has given me this cut before. Deja eau: the feeling I've smelled this perfume before. Deja fu: The feeling I've been kicked in the head like this before. Deja who: The feeling I've known who was on first before. Deja jew: The feeling I've wandered in the desert like this before. Deja knew: The feeling that I remembered this information before (before the test, that was). Deja loo: The feeling I've been to this bathroom before. Deja moo: The feeling I've drank this milk before. Deja mu: The feeling I've calculated the mean of this population before. Deja new: The feeling I haven't experienced this before. (AKA, "Vuja De" - Nothing like this HAS EVER happened to me before.) Deja ooh: The feeling I've exclaimed at these fireworks before. Deja poo: The feeling I've stepped in this before. Deja Q: The feeling I've encountered this entity before. Deja rue: The feeling I've regretted this day before. Deja stew: The feeling that this is made from the pot roast my mom served the week before. Deja too: The feeling that I've experienced this before, also. Deja two: The feeling that I've experienced this before, twice. Deja woo: The feeling that heather has yelled at someone like this before. Deja you: The feeling that YOU have experienced this before. Deja zoo: The feeling that the monkey has done this in public before. DUH-ja-vu: The feeling that the answer was so obvious, that you *surely* should have known it before. DUH!
__________________ Quote:
"Wal-Mart, you may want to look into this." |
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02-22-2007, 08:06 PM
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| A painful mixed emotion. Quote:
__________________ Quote:
"Wal-Mart, you may want to look into this." |
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02-22-2007, 08:37 PM
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| Yelp, fatboy's made another trip around the Sun; partly funded by our dollars. You know him, the senior senator from the People's Republic of Massachusetts. fatboy is 75 today. Mary Jo Kopechne was unavailable for comment. You're right. Wrong forum. It's really not funny.
__________________ Quote:
"Wal-Mart, you may want to look into this." |
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02-23-2007, 06:17 AM
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__________________ LIBERALISM The haunting fear someone, somewhere can help themselves. "Over the last fifteen months, we’ve traveled to every corner of the United States. I’ve now been in 57 states..." Barack Obama |
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03-07-2007, 09:28 PM
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| This might take some thought... March 6, 1836 On that fateful day, Davy Crockett woke up and walked from his bunk on the floor of the Alamo up to the observation post on the west wall. William B. Travis and Jim Bowie were up there already. The three gazed at the hordes of Mexicans moving steadily towards them. Davy turned to Bowie with a puzzled look on his face and said, "Jim, are we pouring concrete today?"
__________________ Quote:
"Wal-Mart, you may want to look into this." |
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03-07-2007, 10:06 PM
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| Bad doggie.....Baaaaad doggie.
__________________ When the goin' gets tough, the tough go shopping!  |
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