Joke Bank

[hoarsewhisperer]

One day, a long, long time ago....... there lived a woman who did not
whine, nag or bitch.


But this was a long time ago.......and it was just that one day.

The End

[88-31-10]

Rep coming your way!!!!

[Kodiak]

Originally Posted by hoarsewhisperer

One day, a long, long time ago....... there lived a woman who did not
whine, nag or bitch.


But this was a long time ago.......and it was just that one day.

The End

Yep, it was after that first day I realized, damn this is going to be a very short marriage, was I wrong, 17 years of that whinning and bitching and she was out on her ass, lol

[hoarsewhisperer]

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken woman swigging her drink, as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asks, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed. "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she started drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My Word!" says my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

[jeezeweeze]

[hoarsewhisperer]

When the graveside service had no more than terminated,
there was a tremendous burst of thunder accompanied by
a distant lightning bolt and more rumbling thunder.

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said,

"Well, she's there."

[jeezeweeze]

Good one Horsie .....


WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS?

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.

The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a
half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man
turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?"

The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap,
wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping
around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned," Then returned to
his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.
I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had
arthritis?"

The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father.
I was just reading here that
the Pope does."

[hoarsewhisperer]

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember--


1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called ... 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'.

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and Your boss, the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning; One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

10. A blonde said, 'I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.'

11. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment...for enjoying sex.

12. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

[jeezeweeze]

[jeezeweeze]

John McCain, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama were in a boat going down the river. The river was extremely rough.



The boat capsized.



Who was saved?



SCROLL DOWN FOR THE ANSWER



























AMERICA!!!!