Joke Bank

[jeezeweeze]

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST



She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.



Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.



Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.



Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.



And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

[Kodiak]

I went to the Doc at Medical Center with a prob I have been having. Problem is that I roll out of bed at night, last time required stiches. Well to make a long story short, and I mean short, He gave me Viagra. Problem solved

[meadmice]

Originally Posted by Kodiak

I went to the Doc at Medical Center with a prob I have been having. Problem is that I roll out of bed at night, last time required stiches. Well to make a long story short, and I mean short, He gave me Viagra. Problem solved

I've heard one similar before...

A lady was visiting family in a nursing home and it came time for the evening medication. She saw the nurses giving out two pills to all the men, but only one to the women. When she asked what they were, she was told one was a pill to help them sleep, and the other was a viagra so they wouldn't roll out of bed in the middle of the night.

[KONQ RADIO]

That's right meadmice.

Kodiak, what home are you in? When's visiting hours?

[booger]

bear, i have to use the little blue pill daily, keeps me from peeing on my sneakers.

[jeezeweeze]

A 80 year old lady always wanted to join a local
bikers club. So, one day she goes up to a biker's door
and knocks on the door. A big hairy bearded biker
with tattoos all over his arms answers.

She proclaims,
"I want to join your club."

The guy was quite amused,but explained to her that she
needs to meet a few requirements in order to join.

The biker asks her,
"Do you own a motorcycle?"

The little old lady replies,
"Yep, my bike's parked right over there," and points
to a flamed black Harley chopper in the driveway.

The biker asks.
"Do you drink?"

The little old lady replies,
"Yep, like a fish,I'll drink everyone in your club
under the table."

The biker asks,
"Do you smoke?"

The little old lady replies,
"Yep, like a chimney. At least 2 packs of cigarettes
and three joints a day and a couple more in the

evening when I'm shooting pool."

The biker was very impressed and asks,
"Last question,have you ever been picked up by the
fuzz?"

The little old lady thinks for a minute and says,
"Nope, but I've been swung around by my nipples a few
times."

[hoarsewhisperer]

I found this beautiful summer poem and thought it might help make your day.
It did me, and itisvery well written.
ENJOY!




'Summer'
a poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre




ST!
It's Hot!

[Made in the USA]

Think I will take off this afternoon and take a trip to a cooler climate! 108 degrees in Dodge City yesterday.
Heck, it was only 100 in HELL yesterday!

[Justoo]

Barely made it to 80° here. Come on up.

[jeezeweeze]

>
>
> Priceless!!!!
>
>
> Two English businessmen in London were sitting down for a break in their
> soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few
> shelves set up. One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some idiot
> tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what
> we're selling.'
>
>
> No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious
> Irishman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a thick Irish accent
> asked 'What might ye be sellin' here?'
>
>
> One of the men replied sarcastically,
> 'We're selling ass-holes.'
>
>
> Without skipping a beat, the Irishman said, 'You're doing well, only
> two left!'
>
>
> Englishmen (God bless them) should not mess with the Irish!!
>
>
>