Joke Bank

[hoarsewhisperer]

Irish birth control


Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with
Father Flaherty.

The Father said, 'Top O the mornin'to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I
marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?'

She replied,'Aye, that ye did, Father.'

The Father asked, ' And be there any wee little ones yet?'

She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.'

The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle
for ye and yer hoosband.

She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father.'

They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again. The Father asked, ' Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how
are ye these days?'

She replied, 'Oh, very well, Father!'

The Father asked, 'And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?'

She replied, 'Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!'

The Father said, 'That's wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?'

She replied, 'E's gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle.'

[hoarsewhisperer]

AND IT'S REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Naked Mole-Rat From Africa pictures from shih tzus photos on webshots

[jeezeweeze]

[jeezeweeze]

THREE SOUTHERN BOYS

Bubba died in a fire, and his body was burned pretty badly.

The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his
two best friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always done
everything together.

Cooter arrived first; and, when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, 'Yup,his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.' The mortician rolled him over, and Cooter said, 'Nope -- ain't Bubba.'

The mortician thought this was rather strange, so he brought Gomer in to confirm.
'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over, and Gomer said, 'No, it ain't Bubba.'
The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'
'Well, Bubba had two *******s.'

'What? He had two *******s?' asked the mortician.
'Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, 'There's Bubba with them two *******s.

[JayhawkMom]

Poor Bubba............

[jeezeweeze]

> THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT
>
> My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who
> seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and
> drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the
> aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that
> he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if
> you could just put your trays up, that would be super.'
>
> On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed
> Arab woman wearing a black scarf who hadn't moved a muscle.
> 'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I
> asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat
> us on the ground.'
>
> She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a
> Princess and I take orders from no one.'
>
> To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, with out missing a
> beat, 'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I out rank you.
> Tray-up, Bitch.'

[K C Muffin]

maybe not 'useful' but damn funny. I'd love to see this kind of thing in person!! We each have our own agenda in life, but when we're all loaded like cattle into one plane to fly to our destination, we become one for the trip. Nobody's any better than anybody else in these circumstances!

[jeezeweeze]

My hubby had to go to Mayo Clinic in Mesa Az, and the plane was a flight to Vegas with a stopover in Phoenix. He said that whole plane was a party from the get go...he hated that it was over so soon...

I am kinda a white knuckle flier and I would welcome any distraction....LOL

[Made in the USA]

Originally Posted by jeezeweeze

I am kinda a white knuckle flier and I would welcome any distraction....LOL

I always get stuck between the FAT lady that needs two seats but only bought one, and the wino with bad breath who needs a bath! Quite a distraction!

[K C Muffin]

Originally Posted by Made in the USA

I always get stuck between the FAT lady that needs two seats but only bought one, and the wino with bad breath who needs a bath! Quite a distraction!

Come on, MIT...you told me you'd never tell anybody I needed two seats. Damn! Couldn't you just have kept it to yourself? Geez!