Joke Bank

[jeezeweeze]

foflmao

[K C Muffin]

I loved that!

[jeezeweeze]

A cowboy walked into a drug store in Texas and asked to talk to a male
pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the only
pharmacist and as she and her sister owned the store, there was no males
employed there.

She then asked if she could help him.

The cowpoke said that it was something that he would be much more
comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist. The female pharmacist
assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was
that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him
with the highest level of professionalism.

The cowboy then agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a permanent erection. It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment, and Iwas wondering what you could give me for it."

The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll talk to my sister."

When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and the absolute
best we can do is as follows: 1/3 ownership in the store, a
company pickup truck, and $3,000 a month living expenses."

[jeezeweeze]

I got a speeding ticket yesterday.

I thought I could talk
my way out of it
until the cop looked at
my dog in the back seat

[hoarsewhisperer]

A little boy got on the bus,
sat next to a man reading a book,
and noticed he had his collar on backwards.

The little boy asked
why he wore his collar backwards.

The man, who was a priest,
Said, 'I am a Father.'

The little boy replied
'My Dad is a father and he doesn't wear his collar like that.'

The priest looked up from his book
and answered, 'I am the Father of many.'

The boy said,
'My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren
and he doesn't wear his collar that way.'

The priest, getting impatient, said.
'I am the Father of hundreds'
and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while,
then leaned over and said,
'Maybe you should wear your pants backwards
instead of your collar.'

[jeezeweeze]

Ever wonder where the term ‘Dick Head’ came from?

[hoarsewhisperer]

Originally Posted by jeezeweeze

Ever wonder where the term ‘Dick Head’ came from?

hehehehehehehheh


A husband and wife are doing their grocery shopping.

The man picks up a case of beer and sticks it into the shopping cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.

'They're on sale, only $10.00 for 24 cans', he says.

'Put them back. We can't afford it,' says the wife and they carry on
shopping...

A few aisles later the woman picks up a $20.00 jar of face cream and sticks it into the cart.

'Whoa, what do you think you're doing?' asks the man.

'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' she says.

The man replies...'so does 24 cans of beer, and it's only half the price!'

[jeezeweeze]

[hoarsewhisperer]

The Wal-Mart Greeter (priceless)

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with
her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Wal-Mart greeter said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to
Wal-Mart Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they
ain't. The oldest one' s 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you
think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'

'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,' replied the greeter. 'I just
couldn't believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for
shopping at Wal-Mart.'

[jeezeweeze]