Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

[Kodiak]

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the little woman about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember:
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

[Lone Gunman]

Good sound advice. Imay use some of them.

[Jolly Rancher]

Those are great. I will post them on my refrigerator for my kids. Thanks for the laugh!:green:

[lurker]

I found a book in my Mom's attic that was the 1906 version of Home Economics.. If you ever need to know how to build a fire for cooking, home remedies of that era, social conduct or bathroom economy plus anything a proper housewife should do.... it's all there.

[K C Muffin]

What a find! When my brothers and sisters cleaned out my parent's house after their deaths, we found a bunch of stuff that might have been better tossed years ago. Like my mom's first set of dentures. Ya just never know when you'll need 'em! Treasure that book, Lurker, and save it for your grandbabies! And post something from it every once in a while.

[lurker]

I'll be happy to transcribe some essential homemakin' knowledge from 99 years past. At the present time it's in the hands of an old folks agency's Director who is transcribing bits and pieces for her monthly newsletter.

Anyone want a great recipe on how to stew a rabbit?

[K C Muffin]

noooooooooooooo

[Made in the USA]

SHHHHHHHHHHHH, be vewy, vewy quiet, I'm huntin' wabbits!!