Go Back   DodgeBoard.com - Forums > Chit Chat > Funny Bone
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 12-25-2007, 08:59 PM
Mike B.'s Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Dodge City
Posts: 467
Casino Cash: $10900
Rep Power: 915
Mike B. Is off the scale!Mike B. Is off the scale!
Mike B. Is off the scale!Mike B. Is off the scale!Mike B. Is off the scale!Mike B. Is off the scale!Mike B. Is off the scale!Mike B. Is off the scale!Mike B. Is off the scale!Mike B. Is off the scale!Mike B. Is off the scale!Mike B. Is off the scale!
'Twas the day after Christmas...

'Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, Every creature was hurtin', even the mouse. The toys were all broken their batteries dead; Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.

Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, While upstairs the family continued to snore. And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans, I went into the kitchen and started to clean.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror. The driver was smiling, so lively and grand; the patch on his jacket said "U.S. POSTMAN."

With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox, and then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox. Bill after bill, after bill, they still came. Whistling and shouting he called them by name:

"Now Dillard's, now Broadway's, now Penny's and Sears Here's Robinson's, Levitz's and Target and Mervyn's. To the tip of your limit, every store, every mall, Now charge away--charge away--charge away all!"

He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work. He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk. He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road, Driving much faster with just half a load.

Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,

"Enjoy what you got…you'll be paying all year!"
__________________
"THINKING IS ONE THING NO-ONE HAS EVER BEEN ABLE TO TAX"


Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways; totally and completely worn out, shouting "Holy Mother of God!! What a ride!!"
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in Technorati
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 12-25-2007, 09:42 PM
Highwayman's Avatar
DodgeBoard Senior VP
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: God's country
Posts: 4,659
Casino Cash: $27075
Rep Power: 1650
Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!
Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!Highwayman Is off the scale!
Good one Mike.
__________________
ΜOΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

Three groups spend other people's money: children, thieves, and politicians. All three need supervision. —DICK ARMEY

Click here to view Democrat’s comments on Iraq and WMD’s
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in Technorati
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 12-26-2007, 12:32 AM
Made in the USA's Avatar
DodgeBoard President
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: By the "wind & smell", it must be an anus!
Posts: 5,265
Casino Cash: $192887
Rep Power: 1752
Made in the USA Is off the scale!Made in the USA Is off the scale!Made in the USA Is off the scale!Made in the USA Is off the scale!
Made in the USA Is off the scale!Made in the USA Is off the scale!Made in the USA Is off the scale!Made in the USA Is off the scale!Made in the USA Is off the scale!Made in the USA Is off the scale!Made in the USA Is off the scale!Made in the USA Is off the scale!Made in the USA Is off the scale!Made in the USA Is off the scale!
So true, so true!
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in Technorati
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 12-26-2007, 02:14 AM
tat2me82's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Dodge City
Posts: 404
Casino Cash: $14125
Rep Power: 499
tat2me82 Is off the scale!
tat2me82 Is off the scale!tat2me82 Is off the scale!tat2me82 Is off the scale!tat2me82 Is off the scale!tat2me82 Is off the scale!tat2me82 Is off the scale!tat2me82 Is off the scale!tat2me82 Is off the scale!tat2me82 Is off the scale!tat2me82 Is off the scale!
Send a message via Yahoo to tat2me82
__________________
"Change within yourself that which you would like to see changed in the world." Mahatma Ghandi

"You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are
the same decaying organic matter as
everything else."

You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of
the world." "We are defined by the choices we make."
~Tyler~ (fight club)




Eleanor Roosevelt - “It seems difficult to make humanity rise to certain heights except in crises.”
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in Technorati
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 12-26-2007, 08:22 AM
jeezeweeze's Avatar
DodgeBoard Commissioner
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Greensburg, KY
Posts: 2,657
Casino Cash: $415
Blog Entries: 6
Rep Power: 1691
jeezeweeze Is off the scale!jeezeweeze Is off the scale!jeezeweeze Is off the scale!jeezeweeze Is off the scale!
jeezeweeze Is off the scale!jeezeweeze Is off the scale!jeezeweeze Is off the scale!jeezeweeze Is off the scale!jeezeweeze Is off the scale!jeezeweeze Is off the scale!
:01E214~120:
__________________
"Personally I think liberals and conservatives should move toward the middle of the road.

Makes it alot easier to run'em over." (Maxine)
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in Technorati
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 12-26-2007, 09:44 AM
hoarsewhisperer's Avatar
DodgeBoard Superintendant
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,119
Casino Cash: $360220
Rep Power: 882
hoarsewhisperer Is off the scale!hoarsewhisperer Is off the scale!
hoarsewhisperer Is off the scale!hoarsewhisperer Is off the scale!hoarsewhisperer Is off the scale!hoarsewhisperer Is off the scale!hoarsewhisperer Is off the scale!hoarsewhisperer Is off the scale!hoarsewhisperer Is off the scale!
__________________
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the
hell happened?"
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in Technorati
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 12-26-2007, 10:54 AM
K C Muffin's Avatar
DodgeBoard Senior VP
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: KC, of course!
Posts: 4,864
Casino Cash: $1351162
Rep Power: 1448
K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!
K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!
Yepper, I agree. I ventured out this morning at 5:45 to hit the 6:00 opening at Macy's. They always have pretty things at 60% or more off. I found a lighted Christmas tree (reg $250), 10 glass music boxes for under what the tree normally cost. I was a happy camper and skipped all the way home! Till I got there at 6:30 and had to unload the trunk by myself......
__________________
When the goin' gets tough, the tough go shopping!
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in Technorati
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 12-26-2007, 07:22 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 5
Casino Cash: $1820
Rep Power: 0
reaper1241 is on a distinguished road
thats funny
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in Technorati
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 12-27-2007, 01:35 PM
Kodiak's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: In my house
Posts: 465
Casino Cash: $0
Rep Power: 927
Kodiak Is off the scale!Kodiak Is off the scale!
Kodiak Is off the scale!Kodiak Is off the scale!Kodiak Is off the scale!Kodiak Is off the scale!Kodiak Is off the scale!Kodiak Is off the scale!Kodiak Is off the scale!Kodiak Is off the scale!Kodiak Is off the scale!Kodiak Is off the scale!Kodiak Is off the scale!
Send a message via MSN to Kodiak Send a message via Yahoo to Kodiak
Quote:
Originally Posted by K C Muffin View Post
Yepper, I agree. I ventured out this morning at 5:45 to hit the 6:00 opening at Macy's. They always have pretty things at 60% or more off. I found a lighted Christmas tree (reg $250), 10 glass music boxes for under what the tree normally cost. I was a happy camper and skipped all the way home! Till I got there at 6:30 and had to unload the trunk by myself......
I am just thanking God as I read this that my Wife was sick, LMAO.
__________________
Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in Technorati
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 12-27-2007, 08:12 PM
K C Muffin's Avatar
DodgeBoard Senior VP
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: KC, of course!
Posts: 4,864
Casino Cash: $1351162
Rep Power: 1448
K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!
K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!K C Muffin Is off the scale!
From what I've heard from people in the office that have had the flu this year, one minute they hope to God they'll die, the next they really think they're gonna. Take good care of her, Big Bear! And hold the pan for her to puke in.....
__________________
When the goin' gets tough, the tough go shopping!
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in Technorati
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks



Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On






Add to Technorati Favorites

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:15 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.2.0 RC5
Copyright DodgeBoard.com