All Alone At Christmas

[hoarsewhisperer]

From another Board...of course I put it here where it belongs

Home Alone for Christmas
I just thought I would start this thread for those that will be home alone on Christmas. My husband is gone. My Ranch is gone. Seems that, when the hurricane blew through my area, My husband and my ranch went “poof” and I now live in a little house all alone. *sigh*

My son, Dick, won’t be coming home for Christmas either. Seems he’s living in some fancy smancy waterfront apartment complex out in California someplace. Calls it “San Quentin” or something like that. He tells me that he gets to mingle with all kinds of celebrities. He also tells me that he met some “hottie” and hopes to spend the rest of his life with his new sweetheart. He thinks he’s so “high and mighty” livin in that there place he don’t even want me coming out for a visit. Dick was such a sweet little youngin growing up. I sure am gonna miss my Dick.

Then there are my twin daughters, Bambi and Barbie. They won’t be coming home for Christmas either. I’m so proud of my girls. Barbie has herself a nice apartment and has so many gentlemen callers, it’s hard to keep track of them. I asked her once how she could afford such a fine place to live, and she told me that men actually pay her to be their friend. It’s good to know that she’s learned how valuable friendships can be.

Bambi finally got herself a job at Walmart. Seems she put on a few pounds working at McDonalds. After 15 years, she felt it was time for a change. I’m so proud of her achievement. She is so happy that she can finally get all kinds of nice things to decorate her trailer with. She told me that she gets a good employee discount, all she has to do is park the van behind the store at night, and one of her co-workers will load it up with nice things and it only costs her twenty bucks. She tells me that sometimes she gets so many nice things, she sells a bunch of stuff on ebay. She’s really learned about career opportunities with her computer too. She’ll be working on Christmas Day. Seems that people will pay her to talk nice to them on the computer or on the phone. She has such a sweet voice.

So I’m gonna be all by myself this Christmas.

[hoarsewhisperer]

Originally posted by XXXXX
Hi Mom,
No Sisters? Parents?
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Why yes I have a couple of sisters, thank you for asking! I already mentioned that crazy Wanda, but I'm real proud of my other sister.

My other sister, Temperance, is a real genuine celebrity! Did ya’ll see her on the Dr. Phil Show last week? Seems the good Doctor was having a show about raising those youngins and my darling sweet sister stood right up in front of everybody and told Dr. Phil to “sit down, shut up and listen”. She then told the Doctor how to raise children HER way, and that sweet ole doctor fella just shut right up. I’m telling ya, my sister knows everything about everything.

She won’t be coming over for Christmas either. She said something about baking something.

[hoarsewhisperer]

....

Did I ever tell you folks about my Uncle Jon? Prolly not. He’s one perverted ole som beech, I tell you. He gets on his computer and pretends to be some young college kid and goes on and gits away with a flirting with some women folk on some message board somewhere. Tells them silly women that he was born in 1983. Truth be told to ya’ll, it’s more like 1938. The ole fool just celebrated his 67th birthday last month. Don’t know why he even bothers with those women when he’s really got the hots from some blonde chickie, named Nancy something. I hear she’s a cute as can be and real smart too. Which is why she’d never give him the time of day.

Uncle Jon ain’t coming over for Christmas this year either. But that’s okay by me, he’s got body odor the likes that could kill a skunk.