Prepare For Your Mammogram-a Woman Only Thread

[hoarsewhisperer]

MAMMOGRAM EXERCISES

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry.
By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.

EXERCISE ONE:

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door.
Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds.
Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.


EXERCISE TWO:

Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect.
Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car.
Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled.
Turn over and repeat with the other breast.

EXERCISE THREE:

Freeze two metal bookends overnight.
Strip to the waist and invite a stranger into the room.
Press the bookends against one of your breasts.
Smash the bookends together as hard as you can.
Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.

YOU ARE NOW TOTALLY PREPARED FOR YOUR MAMMOGRAM!


Live, Love, Laugh...

[jeezeweeze]

[357 mag]

[wordsmythe]

At least the Doc doesn't have to shove anything up your butt to do it.

[momof2beautifulkids]

Originally Posted by wordsmythe

At least the Doc doesn't have to shove anything up your butt to do it.

LMAO!!! If you only have to do that 1x you are doing good!!!!! You know those of us that have had kids understand what is is to try to squeeze a watermelon out of a hole the size of a lime!!!

[wordsmythe]

Originally Posted by momof2beautifulkids

LMAO!!! If you only have to do that 1x you are doing good!!!!! You know those of us that have had kids understand what is is to try to squeeze a watermelon out of a hole the size of a lime!!!

I've had several kidney stones and I've been told by several mothers that they'd rather have 5 more kids than another stone.

And they do it once a year after you hit the magic age.

[momof2beautifulkids]

Never had kidney stones but 2 kids is enuff for me!!!

[Flying Dutchman]

After my last trip to the ER, the doc decided to check my prostrate since I had not had that particular fun event done.
Since I was still half out of it from my collapse, I vaguely remember giving him the ok. I think i was molested. I did not realize that you could check one's tonsils via the rectum.....I do now. I think we had a date, the doc and I, after....I am unsure.

[Tee]

My grnadmother told me I had to have my prostate checked since two of my uncles had prostrate cancer. She told me to go get a PSA and it was a simple blood test. So, two weeks ago I went to my doctor for a follow up on another issue and I told him that I needed to get the prostrate test. After we talked for a bit about my diet and my sleep apnia, he slipped his gloves on and told me to bend over and drop my pants and underwear...... HUH? WHY??? LOL
After he explained it to me, I said Na...I think I can wait until I get in to my 50's to have that done. Maybe by then, I'll be so hard up, I'll enjoy it.

[jeezeweeze]

FD and Tee

That there is funny I don't care who you are.....foflmao