Points To Ponder

[Lone Gunman]

Points To Ponder

1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

2. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

3. Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you've been in it for awhile... it isn't so hot.

4. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's not going to happen.'

5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

6. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.

7. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

8. According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is her eyes. Women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.

9. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird..... Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

10. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

11. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

12. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I've come to realize it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

13. How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a barbecue?

14. Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come in sooner."