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Old 01-19-2006, 06:09 PM
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Living Will

Living Will Form


I, ______________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.


If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

______a Bloody Mary,
______a Margarita
______a Scotch and Soda
______a Martini
______a Vodka and Tonic
______a steak
______lobster or crab legs
______the remote control
______a bowl of ice cream
______the sports page
______chocolate
______sex
______prime rib


it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed
person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Signature: ___________________________

Date: ___________________________
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Old 01-19-2006, 06:58 PM
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Can I substitute Scotch and Soda with Crown and Coke? As far as my taste buds are concerned, the only thing Scotch is good for would be cleaning wounds or starting bonfires.
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Old 01-19-2006, 06:59 PM
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Hey Bubba it's your document might as well have your way.
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Old 01-19-2006, 07:24 PM
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MMMMM... Scotch
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Old 01-19-2006, 07:28 PM
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I love scotch, scotchy, scotch, scotch!
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Old 01-19-2006, 07:59 PM
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This reminds me of the joke

Quote:
NOTICE OF NEW HOLIDAY
3/19/02

Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your
fondness for your wife or girlfriend by showering her with
gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women
find romantic. Every Valentines Day you rack your brains for
that one special, unique gift that will show your wife or
girlfriend that you really love them more than anything.

Now ladies, I'll let you in on a little secret. Guys really
don't enjoy this that much. Sure seeing that smile on your
face when we get it right is priceless, but that smile is the
result of weeks of blood, sweat and consideration. Another
secret--guys feel left out. That's right, left out. There's no
special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for
the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or
just too embarrassed to admit it. Which is why a new holiday
has been created.

March 20th is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day". Simple,
effective and self-explanatory. This holiday has been created
so you ladies finally have a day to show your man just how
much you love him. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on
the town. The name of the holiday explains it all. Just a steak
and a blowjob. That's it.

Finally, this twin pair of Valentines Day and Steak and Blowjob
Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere will try
THAT much harder in February to ensure a more memorable March!
It's like a perpetual love machine.

The word is already beginning to spread, but as with any new
idea, it needs a little push to start the ball rolling. So
spread the word and help bring love and peace to this crazy
world.
well at least women recognize it as a joke
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Old 01-19-2006, 08:08 PM
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Watch it Horsie don't toy with our emotions. That's just wrong.
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Old 01-19-2006, 08:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone Gunman
Watch it Horsie don't toy with our emotions. That's just wrong.
LG, that made me laugh!
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Old 01-19-2006, 09:05 PM
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Hoarsie, that was great! Had me goin' clear to the end! Poor guys.....makes me feel sorry for 'em. Imagine havin' such tiny little brains that naked women or sex is the only way to have fun..............
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Old 01-19-2006, 09:11 PM
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There are other ways to have fun than sex and naked women?


Oh wait your right. Sex, Naked women and my Xbox 360 baby! lol
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