Need Help And Advice.

[Craigb]

I have a problem and I need all the help that I can get. I know that I am old fashioned and behind the new "age" that is going on, BUT I am not stupid either (I hope).
My son who lives with me after my wife left because she was not happy anymore, but that is another story. My son plays a game on the internet called "World of Warcraft". He can talk to all who plays this game also, and has "MET" a girl on this game, who he only knows from talking with her on the internet. She wants him to come to Los Angles to see her. She is a black gal, and has not met my son either except thru playing this game. So, only knowing her by this game, has taken his vacation and has plane tickets and has a motel room there for his week of vacation. I made it very clear to him that I was not happy with him for doing this without knowing a whole lot more than he does about her. He went to my ex-wife and she gave him one thousand dollars to do this. I was not even involved in this at all and was not able to stop this before it happened.
I called her and asked why in the world would she do this, not knowing anything about this gal, only what he has told her? Her response was that he was 23 years old, and needs to get out of the house and find out about life. UHMMMMMMMM! Well, I freaked! Before any of this took place, I called her and let her know about this, and that I was not for this in anyway, and the reasons why! She agreed whole heartedly with me, and yet she gives him the money, not even calling me to see what I thought! So, after all this was done, I called her and said why again, and told her why she would do this not knowing one thing about this girl and sending our son out to one of the most dangerous cities on this earth, ALONE and not knowing one soul out there except this girl, whom he does not even know? She said that she trusted him, and I said that is not the issue at all, but doing this without my involvment and agreeing to send him out there, not knowing anything about this person, alone not really knowing anyone! Am I wrong? Thanks craigb

[TexKan]

Why not turn the tables and invite the girl to dodge? Use the $1000 to get her a room and airfare - see if she's as risky as your son. Be the willing host - welcome his friend and see what happens. Other than that - not much ya can do - he's 23 with a mom that's not real smart!

[Bubba]

For a 23 year old, I don't see that much of a problem, especially if he's never been to L.A. or California. Make sure he understands that there are areas he shouldn't go, like Compton or East L.A. But, if he stays mainly on the west side where the airport is, Venice, Redondo Beach, Beverly Hills, Hollywood, the Sunset Strip. He should be all right and are memorable places for a person to visit. Make sure he uses the common sense that you raised him with, like don't reveal too much to strangers, don't pull out a wad of money in front of people, etc. The part about his mom you will have to work out on your own, but a 23 year old shouldn't have that much of a problem going to California.

[K C Muffin]

A 23 year old? Seems like his mom oughta be shot. If a 23-year-old man wants to go to California to do anything, he shouldn't be asking his mom (or his dad) for the money. If my kid came to me with this hair-brained scheme, I'd tell him to use his vacation money (which he undoubtedly hasn't saved) if he wants to meet her that badly. That's the only thing that's wrong here....let him fund his own vacation - maybe that would cool things a little.

[ksgrainman]

I agree with Tex, have her come to Dodge. It really might be on the UP and UP. Butttttttttttttttttttttttt as a Dad myself, I know how you feel !

[wordsmythe]

Sounds like you an mom let him spend too much time int he basement playing games istead of getting out there and dealing with life.

It also sounds like mom coddles him a lot too much especially forking out the money.

There are all kinds of people out there who've found someone they truly fall in love with over the internet. Unforunately there are even more out there who've had horribly frightening experiences.

It's too late to stop him and the only real way you're going to have any piece of mind would be to go with him. Of course then you're still babying him then and doing him no good.

Cross your fingers, hope for the best and good luck.

[Lone Gunman]

Originally Posted by K C Muffin

A 23 year old? Seems like his mom oughta be shot. If a 23-year-old man wants to go to California to do anything, he shouldn't be asking his mom (or his dad) for the money. If my kid came to me with this hair-brained scheme, I'd tell him to use his vacation money (which he undoubtedly hasn't saved) if he wants to meet her that badly. That's the only thing that's wrong here....let him fund his own vacation - maybe that would cool things a little.

I agree if my 24 year old came to me with a story like that I would ask where he's getting the money. If he said from me the laughter would be so loud it would surely piss him off.

[Army_of_One]

Originally Posted by K C Muffin

A 23 year old? Seems like his mom oughta be shot. If a 23-year-old man wants to go to California to do anything, he shouldn't be asking his mom (or his dad) for the money. If my kid came to me with this hair-brained scheme, I'd tell him to use his vacation money (which he undoubtedly hasn't saved) if he wants to meet her that badly. That's the only thing that's wrong here....let him fund his own vacation - maybe that would cool things a little.

Amen...

[Army_of_One]

Originally Posted by Craigb

I have a problem and I need all the help that I can get. I know that I am old fashioned and behind the new "age" that is going on, BUT I am not stupid either (I hope).
My son who lives with me after my wife left because she was not happy anymore, but that is another story. My son plays a game on the internet called "World of Warcraft". He can talk to all who plays this game also, and has "MET" a girl on this game, who he only knows from talking with her on the internet. She wants him to come to Los Angles to see her. She is a black gal, and has not met my son either except thru playing this game. So, only knowing her by this game, has taken his vacation and has plane tickets and has a motel room there for his week of vacation. I made it very clear to him that I was not happy with him for doing this without knowing a whole lot more than he does about her. He went to my ex-wife and she gave him one thousand dollars to do this. I was not even involved in this at all and was not able to stop this before it happened.
I called her and asked why in the world would she do this, not knowing anything about this gal, only what he has told her? Her response was that he was 23 years old, and needs to get out of the house and find out about life. UHMMMMMMMM! Well, I freaked! Before any of this took place, I called her and let her know about this, and that I was not for this in anyway, and the reasons why! She agreed whole heartedly with me, and yet she gives him the money, not even calling me to see what I thought! So, after all this was done, I called her and said why again, and told her why she would do this not knowing one thing about this girl and sending our son out to one of the most dangerous cities on this earth, ALONE and not knowing one soul out there except this girl, whom he does not even know? She said that she trusted him, and I said that is not the issue at all, but doing this without my involvment and agreeing to send him out there, not knowing anything about this person, alone not really knowing anyone! Am I wrong? Thanks craigb

Let the guy go...he'll probably learn a lesson in life that costs your ex-wife a grand and him a weeks vacation, a round trip ticket, a motel room, a visit to the doctor and a few weeks worth of penicillen.......I'd give him a good briefing and a big fat I told you so when he comes home...

When he gets back I would also have him see some type of counselor because that isn't really normal behavior.

[TexKan]

That's in immature 23 yo as evidenced by the fact that his adventures must be financed by others - send her a ticket - betteryet see if she can afford to follow her quest since SHE invited him..........