Wanna play?

[Flying Dutchman]

Twas the week after Christmas
and all through my house
not a crumb of food was left
couldn't even feed a mouse

Stockings were hanging
in the bathroom with care
I hoped they were my wife's
and not her slut sister Clair

The children all complaining
about who slept in who's beds
and my old stash of Playboys
was ripped up to shreds

The dogs are shellshocked
and I am missing a cat
my rocking chair is broke
where my mother-in-law sat

When out in the yard
I heard a semi truck
I dropped my beer and said
"Hey, what the F--K?"

I ran to the door
and locked it real quick,
turned off the doorbell
and started to get sick

What to my wondering eyes
should be seen,
It was my fat cousin Bobby
and his slut, Irene.

I grabbed my shotgun
and loaded it real fast.
If that bastard gets to the porch
I am going to give him a blast.

My kids all yelled
"Daddy, please stop"
I totally dismissed them
and braced for the loud POP

Now I am sitting in jail
on charges of murder
My roomate keeps smiling at me
and whistles, and murmers

I heard the jailer exclame
as he slammed the cell door tight
"Oh you poor bastard,
glad I am not you tonight."

[TexKan]

LOL LOL - You sure you are not in Arkansas?????