Bad Parents

[tat2me82]

That same thing happned to my nephew. The school said that if he wasn't put on medication than he could no longer go there. I think that's wrong. I never understood what they thought was so terrible about his behavior, he was a normal little boy, a bit active that's it.

[Craigb]

Parents on this board and every where else, do not let you children be put on meds just because a teacher has a problem with that child! I am not saying that the meds are wrong or not needed, but to put them on meds for being a child is so wrong! Hell, I was a terror when I was a child, but when a NUN called my parents and told them about my behavior, I was taken out too the wood shed, or back yard and I had to get a tree branch for my spanking! And lord did I get it! Yet when you take discipline and corporal punishment out of schools, what in the world would anyone expect? OF COURSE they are going to act up, if they can get a way with it, but that does not make it right! Learning that bad behavior is wrong, and that it can and will cause PAIN, is a great tool for learning! But, when they can get away with it because some nut cried foul for spanking their child and laws where passed to stop this, then what in the hell would schools expect? And when a CHILD can tell a parent that if they spank them, they will call the police, and the parent is taken to jail, what did that child LEARN? COMMON DAMN SENSE FOLKS!!!!!! COME ON!

When I was a child in a Catholic school, and you talked back to a NUN, YOU KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO GET IT!!!! She would take you back to the "CLOAK ROOM" and she brought along and OAK 3 foot measuring stick and you got it on the back part of your lower legs! Pain yes, beating NO! And the next day in school all would be well and the SISTER "NEVER" held a grudge, you would be welcomed back the very next day as if nothing had happened, except you LEARNED that the SISTER "WOULD" punish you for being NAUGHTY! THUS, you stopped that action right away! CHILDREN LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES BY THE PUNISHMENT FOR BAD BEHAVIOR! NEVER, did a NUN tell the parents to put the child on VALIUM or any other medication of that time period! And NO, we are not talking about the "stone age"!!

Just another NOTE, I was also an "ALTAR BOY", and served Mass with all the priest's of the parish. At no time was I ever "ABUSED" by any of them, nor even thought that they would ever even think of doing so! Granted, some priest's have done so, and yet I believe that quite a few who have been accused of doing so, never did! Some parents, found a way to get money out of the church and did so without any thought of doing this wrong! Only the thought of getting easy money and did not care at all about the priest or what this poor person had to go through because of the greed of the parents. Now what do you think this child who lied under oath, learned? Don't get me wrong, for those priest's who actually did this terrible crime, they should be put up against a wall and shot! Children do not need older "FRIENDS", they need parents!!!!! God Bless Doc B

[wordsmythe]

My parents were asked to remove me from Catholic school in second grade. They decided I was more trouble than I was worth.

I did know I'd be in trouble but by that age physical pain didn't mean a whole lot to me. The nun would tell me to put out my hands and I'd just tell her, "no."

The worst thing she ccould do would be to hit me somewhere else and harder, and as I said, pain didn't mean a lot to me.

The final straw came once when they said to put away my math workbook and get out my religion. I refused and said something to the effect of in the real world I'd need math but the whole boogyman in the sky thing wasn't going to do much for me. I was sent to the Priest and they called my parents and I was taken to public school the next week.

I was never touched by the Priest either but maybe that's because he was too drunk... but I digress.

I've already put the word out at my daughter's school that if any teacher or admin hits my child that I will respond in kind. However, my daughter knows that if she messes up at school punishment will come from home.

If the kid knows they will get away with it at home then there's nothing the school can do.

[Made in the USA]

Sister Bertha Big Butt used a 4 foot "ball bat" at our school. Most of us were "crippled", but we minded good after that! As for the Altar Boy part, we were not asked too often after we drank all the wine, and smoked all of the incense!

[Army_of_One]

I'm learning on being a parent and such. Personally I think spankings should be reserved for safety issues (IE a swat on the butt if the kid runs out into the street or whatever). I don't think a kid has to be beaten to get the point. Too often parents lose THEIR temper when administering discipline with children and swat/hit/spank too hard. If you establish authority and a system of punishment/reward early on and let your child know where the boundries are then there shouldn't be a problem. Sometimes bad kids get the rap when it's really bad parenting.

[TheWizzard]

Im really glad that this subject has come up. Id like opinions on the age spanking is ok... when when the child is too old. I agree.. some parents go overboard. I would have been one of those parents recently if I didnt use GREAT self control and stay away from the child. It wasnt for something as bad as like stealing the car, but it was for very bad attitude which I believe can lead to worse things. But as was said earlier, you cant "spank" your child and teach your child a lesson these days without someone sticking their nose in. The kids have learned that also and threaten parents.( I have not had that happen yet, but would not be suprised in the future) Sooo the big question is how do you punish if spanking is out?? Just for fun I will tell you what I JUST did to mine. Mine is grounded for 2 weeks. Grounded means to the room, with NO tv, NO music, and they dont have a cell phone or a phone in their room. All there is to do is read and do homework. Now Im finding out that there is a reward dinner tomorrow night for sports. So I question weather we should let them go or not. What I decided is to let them go to the reward dinner, but Wednesday night, they stay home... Keep in mind this is an older kid that wont even dress up to "trick or treat", but still wants all the candy. Well I found out that the stay home wednesday night rule hurts way more than making them give up the reward dinner. Is this the right way to handle it?? Things have changed from when I was a kid in more than one way. Society for one wont allow what some parents call dicipline. Second is that I will NOT be the parent that raised me thinking of me as a punching bag at the age mine are at now. When they were younger, if they needed a swat they got it. So back to the first question.. How old is too old for spanking???

[Army_of_One]

Originally Posted by TheWizzard

Im really glad that this subject has come up. Id like opinions on the age spanking is ok... when when the child is too old. I agree.. some parents go overboard. I would have been one of those parents recently if I didnt use GREAT self control and stay away from the child. It wasnt for something as bad as like stealing the car, but it was for very bad attitude which I believe can lead to worse things. But as was said earlier, you cant "spank" your child and teach your child a lesson these days without someone sticking their nose in. The kids have learned that also and threaten parents.( I have not had that happen yet, but would not be suprised in the future) Sooo the big question is how do you punish if spanking is out?? Just for fun I will tell you what I JUST did to mine. Mine is grounded for 2 weeks. Grounded means to the room, with NO tv, NO music, and they dont have a cell phone or a phone in their room. All there is to do is read and do homework. Now Im finding out that there is a reward dinner tomorrow night for sports. So I question weather we should let them go or not. What I decided is to let them go to the reward dinner, but Wednesday night, they stay home... Keep in mind this is an older kid that wont even dress up to "trick or treat", but still wants all the candy. Well I found out that the stay home wednesday night rule hurts way more than making them give up the reward dinner. Is this the right way to handle it?? Things have changed from when I was a kid in more than one way. Society for one wont allow what some parents call dicipline. Second is that I will NOT be the parent that raised me thinking of me as a punching bag at the age mine are at now. When they were younger, if they needed a swat they got it. So back to the first question.. How old is too old for spanking???

You are trying to fix a problem quickly that has had years to become a problem. You can't undo the behavior you have allowed your child to do over night....

[Giskie]

Spanking, thats a tough topic and increasingly so in the last decade, I am a new parent and plan to raise my kids the same way I was, with spankings (bare bottom) if necessary, and groundings. I would never punish my kids for something I did when I was their age, unless it was a mistake I regret doing.


As society and lifestyles change so must punishment, but I think that there is a limit to everything. Our kids will have a hard enough time trying to stay out of the court system as it is, because it is so much easier to get in trouble with the law these days, and then end up with a criminal record. Courts and cops used to be a lot more forgiving ten years ago, and even more so ten years before that. I speak from experience, I did one thing as a dumb kid and it has scarred me for life. And there was no kindness, the courts dont care what happens to kids, its all about who is pressuring who's wallet.

I plan to teach my kids the things not to do well enough that they dont have to have such a scar so early in life. Its only going to get harder, and I fear for them because of that I only hope they learn from my errors so as not to make them on thier own.

[K C Muffin]

How old is too old? If ya gotta ask, he/she's probably too old. A swift hand to the backside always worked with mine if immediate punishment was needed (as in they wouldn't stay beside me in a store - always made me nervous that someone would steal them). Mine knew I'd tell them once. Usually that's all that was needed. If it was a situation that could wait till we got home (no life or limb threatened), then they usually got punished then - as in extra chores, no playing outside for the rest of the day, that kind of stuff. Oldest was allowed to go home after school finally one year instead of to the day care with the baby. Well, the chores he was asked to do (to keep him out of trouble) were not being done and he wasn't calling me like he'd been told to do. I couldn't take chances with his safety. Back to the day care center he went. He didn't like it, but I knew where he was. He got the picture real fast. After a month or so, I had no problems whatever.

[pootsy]

I do not have any children but I was that child who ran the streets and such and got into some trouble; however not much, I knew right from wrong, but chose a wrong path and I believe this is why....

I think it is because I was not taught to express my feelings in an apporpriate manner. I was not taught to be calm, take space, and walk away when angry. I was not taught not to hit, I was taught to kick ass! I was taught all the right thngs at the wrong time; after I was doing it wrong. Basically I was ignored and taught by my stepfathers friends at the age of 6 to bartend and bet football. tHEY THOUGHT IT WAS CUTE! My dad worked in bars, my mother worked in bars, they all drank, By the age of 16 I was in bars, drinking, bartending, ect....This I thought was normal because this is what I was taught and observed growing up! Imitation and observation is how kids learn, they are going to repeat what they see if they are not taught how to do it.

Now when I reached 21 everyone was like...what is wrong with her, why don't she go to school, get a career, ect...LMMFAO!!! Was I taught that? Hell no I was not taught that, I was taught to make money the fast and easy way by either inheritance, gambling, bartending, or some other way. Guess what, I found the other way and that is what I did.

I am not saying I was not taught morals or values, but I am saying I was taught too late. I seen too many parties and bars by age 10 and thought that was normal, that is what I was heading to. Not to mention all the house parties my brothers through at "The Swamp" (a mobile home they lived in) I did learn from my brothers though to listen to some great music by "The Beatles!!!!!!!!!!!! I was taught to express my feelings by yelling, throwing things, and fighting..that is the way I got my point across.

So needless to say TALK TO YOUR KIDS NOW OR THEY WILL END UP LIKE ME!!!! lol!

Another thing I think is that society is not getting worse, it is just more publisized what ppl do. I mean in the old days men sold their daughters for horses...what kind of parenting is that?

now my opinion on medication...I did not believe in medicating kids; however after working with kids with mental health issues I strongly believe in them. I do not believe in ritilin, that is just like cocaine and can be used like it.
I believe Bi-polar disorder, Scitzophrenia, depression, and things like that need to be treated with medications. i also strongly believe that ADHD needs to be treated becasue some kids that have it cannot concentrate enough in school (they do not always have to be hyper) they have difficulty learning. I believe I have ADHD or ADD because I lose my concentration quite often. With the right medications I am functioning normally and can concentrate for once in my life. I use to self medicate with pot, meth, ect....but now I am treating it. I did not even know I had anything wrong with me or accept the fact I did until I wanted to quit smoking and they put me on wellbutrin for that. I have felt balanced every since and have not thought about using any drugs.. wellbutrin can treat ADHD and depression, so I believe I have one or the other or both. Now alcohol I have thought about using but I know where that leads. I know I am sharing alot about my life but this is something I went through and I wanted to share my opinion how I feel!