Bad Parents

[Army_of_One]

Originally Posted by Sherry_Giskie

EXACTLY!

Thanks...I believe in this country people have too often sacrificed wealth, have multiple cars, bigger house etc. at the expense of their children. I don't care HOW good the daycare is, it's not mom or dad. No one cares about your child like YOU do and you cannot replace the love, learning and nurturing that child would get at home. When we had the baby my wife quit her job to stay home with the child. We have only one car and now live in a smaller house to make up the difference in the pay cut + the expense of a crumb snatcher...but we were willing to make those sacrifices because in the long run the child will benefit. (I hope...lol)

[Sherry_Giskie]

Originally Posted by Army_of_One

Thanks...I believe in this country people have too often sacrificed wealth, have multiple cars, bigger house etc. at the expense of their children. I don't care HOW good the daycare is, it's not mom or dad. No one cares about your child like YOU do and you cannot replace the love, learning and nurturing that child would get at home. When we had the baby my wife quit her job to stay home with the child. We have only one car and now live in a smaller house to make up the difference in the pay cut + the expense of a crumb snatcher...but we were willing to make those sacrifices because in the long run the child will benefit. (I hope...lol)

Wow, we're more alike than I thought! We feel the same way about the babies. I love being a stay at home mom because I get to see all my kids do and teach them to be good people! Also, I never say to myself "Wow...she learned THAT in daycare????"

[Zeb]

Originally Posted by wordsmythe

My parents tried that on me once. I said "no" if you want to beat me with it you go get it.

And my dad would have cut down the tree, whittled into a club, and proceed to go to town.

[JayhawkMom]

Originally Posted by Zeb

And my dad would have cut down the tree, whittled into a club, and proceed to go to town.

Me too Zeb........I just went and got my own. I knew it was gunna happen no matter what........better if I picked the switch than Dad.

[Sherry_Giskie]

Originally Posted by JayhawkMom

Me too Zeb........I just went and got my own. I knew it was gunna happen no matter what........better if I picked the switch than Dad.

You guys are lucky! I didn't get to pick a switch, I got to pick which belt out of Dad's closet! He usually made me go back again and again, until I picked out the thick leather one that said Junior across the back.

[wordsmythe]

Originally Posted by Zeb

And my dad would have cut down the tree, whittled into a club, and proceed to go to town.

The big difference was that kind of thing happened all the time around our house.

You were going to get hit no matter what so you might was well make him work for it.

[JayhawkMom]

Originally Posted by wordsmythe

The big difference was that kind of thing happened all the time around our house.

You were going to get hit no matter what so you might was well make him work for it.

Good idea Wordy......damn, my folks got off easy!

[pootsy]

Originally Posted by Army_of_One

The thing is now days our kids aren't "US". Kids now days are much more informed and wired to what's going on. This generation responds differently to discipline than we did. I was spanked and we had spankings at school also. (the paddle) They have removed corporal punishment from school I think. We have raised the "time out" generation. I'm an idealist (damn me for that) and probably have a lot to learn because I have a 7 month old daughter but I think it's all about parenting. I don't think spankings are necessary in most instances. I think raising a child is about setting boundries and standards and enforcing those standards. If a child does something wrong, have the time and patience to explain why it is wrong and the consequences. IF they continue to do it there HAS to be consequences. The first time you say..IF YOU DO THAT then THIS will happen and it doens't...you lose credibility and the kid will walk over you from that point on. I'm far, FAR from the perfect parent and am learning as I go but my child already knows the meaning of a FIRM "NO". (thanks to my wifey) Kids need attention and motivation. When both parents are working 8 -10 hours a day then come home tired HOW much attention is the child really getting? To many of our kids are shoved into daycares for someone else to raise then we wonder why they have issues.

Exactly Army....when my mother and father were together I had structure and such. My brothers turned out to be mellow and stay at home, they are all so much older than me. When I was 4 or 5 my parents were getting divorced so I was not brought up in structure. My dad tried to give me structure and dicipline; however when I went to moms I was with a babysitter or my brothers. They all let me do what I wanted. I amnot say my mother was a bad mother becasue she was a really good person and would do anything for anybody. she was a very hard worker and had to pay the bills on her own when her and my dad divorced. When she met my stepdad she was always out with him or she was working. It was a mess at times but we all made it. I believe my brothers upbringing was way different than me and it shows. I was raised my three parents and they were raised by 2.

[Flying Dutchman]

First---- I can count on one hand how many spanking my children got from me, actually they got 3 between the two of them. Do I disagree with spanking? Nope. It just wasn't needed in our case.

I received maybe 5 spankings from my mother, maybe 3 or 4 from my dad. My mother was abused, sexually and mentally, until she was in her 20's. My father was abused physically until he was 25 when he finally beat the crap out of my grandfather. From their experiences they learned a better way, and from that I learned an even better one.

Too many parents think their house and home is a Democracy. Well, it isn't. It is a Monarchy, even close to a Dictatorship. A 5 year olds opinion might count when asked which toy they wish to play with. It does not count on what to fix for supper. When grown-ups are talking (I.E. your friends or family members) that is not an invitation for the children to sit down and join unless the discussion is geared towards them. Children are children, not small adults. Ever wonder why the kids sat at one table and the adults the other? While I might find my child to be inteligent and funny, others probably find it annoying. If i say i will do something, or that a discipline is coming, then that is what happens. Making threats like "I will ground you till your 20" or something completely out of the realm of reality does nothing since it will never happen. If I had to give up a night out because I had to be home with my child because they were grounded, then that is what i did but they definately did not like it. They were not allowed to just go to bed, they had to stay up and do something so tedious and demeaning that they got the point. If your child does not respect you, then this will never work since they do not care what you say or think. You teach them from the get-go about respect. Not control or micro-authority, but respect. It makes life easier.

[pootsy]

I do not believe a child has to be spanked to mind. I believe if you talk to the child and show them the right way to act and help them act it out in a role paly or something, you might get somewhere. If you do not teach them they will never know.