Florida man owes $10,000 for child who's not his

[Flying Dutchman]

You have always been sincere and gracious to me KC so no appologies are necessary.

The only reason I posted what I did was just to show that divorces can be handled and dealt with in a respectable manner, as long as both parties agree or one takes the inniative and puts their foot down. I have been through two of them and both were handled with dignity and care anf fairness. The negative thinking person may say I was soft, or that my ex's were dumb, but neither are true. I am a child of divorce, like most people are, and seen how it tore my family apart. I swore that if that were to happen to me I would never put the children in the middle. Luckily my children's mother was not a bad mother. Granted, she has made mistakes (haven't we all) and refused to deal with them like she should have and is paying for that. A word of the wise to anyone who ever gets a divorce............leave YOUR problems with the other spouse at the door. It does not matter how much you may hate that person, or hate what they did, that other person is the parent of YOUR child(ren). You would not respect anybody who disrespected your mother, so don't disrespect theirs. If the other parent is a bad person, it will show and the children will figure it out without you helping. If you have to pay support, pay it.

[jeezeweeze]

Originally Posted by Flying Dutchman

You have always been sincere and gracious to me KC so no appologies are necessary.

The only reason I posted what I did was just to show that divorces can be handled and dealt with in a respectable manner, as long as both parties agree or one takes the inniative and puts their foot down. I have been through two of them and both were handled with dignity and care anf fairness. The negative thinking person may say I was soft, or that my ex's were dumb, but neither are true. I am a child of divorce, like most people are, and seen how it tore my family apart. I swore that if that were to happen to me I would never put the children in the middle. Luckily my children's mother was not a bad mother. Granted, she has made mistakes (haven't we all) and refused to deal with them like she should have and is paying for that. A word of the wise to anyone who ever gets a divorce............leave YOUR problems with the other spouse at the door. It does not matter how much you may hate that person, or hate what they did, that other person is the parent of YOUR child(ren). You would not respect anybody who disrespected your mother, so don't disrespect theirs. If the other parent is a bad person, it will show and the children will figure it out without you helping. If you have to pay support, pay it.

You are so right !!

I still talk to the ex's except of course the Kid's dad (died in 89 ) I am very happy that I didn't take him to the cleaners like I had advise to do. I could have had half of his retirement and half of everything for that matter but I just felt he was the bread winner during most of our marriage.

I know I know what a martyr .................... WRONG

Peace and having him for a friend was more important...... plus he had no problem with supporting his kids.

I had to live with myself and destroying him would have devastated them. He and I were way to young to get pregnant and then married, however it lasted 19 years and I have no regrets.
Its funny how the good times come to mind when I think of him and I see him every day that I see my kids.

Like you I was a child of divorce and my mother just could not run my dad down enough. I hated her for that and to this day I can only think of the misery she made a decision to inflict upon herself and she took it to her grave................ What a waste of life.............. not worth it.

GOD BLESS YOU !!!!!

[Army_of_One]

Originally Posted by Tee

You were blessed by your love for your children and the outlook you chose to take on the situation.

The children should ALWAYS come first in every situation. Now that I have a baby I know that now more than ever. People that don't put their children first are just selfish and probably shouldn't have kids. Ur a good guy Dutch.

[K C Muffin]

OK, Dutchie - where were you when I was lookin' for #3? I'm pretty lucky as well. My kids are pretty well adjusted. I made some sacrifices to be sure they saw their dad every other weekend, even though he made me do all the drivin' (6 hrs eachway) - and sometimes they complained that they didn't want to go. That's pretty short-lived. By the time they were 17 and 18, they'd driven with me on the highway enough that they found their own way when he wanted them to visit. They're adults and both are aware we were very young to get married and we just grew apart. And I think they love us each equally, though differently. Isn't that the ultimate gift?

[tat2me82]

I don't understand how someone has to pay child support for kids that aren't his, unless he adopted them?! My step dad adopted us therefore he ended up paying child support when he and my mom divorced.

I agree that the kids definatley have to come first!! I've thrown a tantrum once or twice about things I thought at the time were wrong, but me and my ex are usually good about talking about our disagreements rather than fighting over them. We've always managed to come to some sort of resolution no matter how opposite our views. Our child is always the main concern in anything we do. We've been split up for about 3 years now and we still remain the best of friends. Wouldn't have it any other way.

Anywho I think parents that are constantly arguing and disagreeing upon everything are selfish and need to realize that there's more important things than them!! The other thing that drives me crazy is to hear parents talk bad about the other parent to the child... sheesh.. that's disrespectful and childish.. sometimes makes you wonder who the children are and who the parents are

[TexKan]

I take it his SS# donator didn't show up for court???? Probably didn't talk much to his X either. - Guess if you wanna get the number bad enough............. deadbeat dads could have a whole new way to pay child support if they were smart!!........... the women wouldn't mind a bit.

[blondemoments]

Originally Posted by Made in the USA

Heck, I know people in our local area that have been screwed worse than this, and the law continues to nail them. One fellow that I know recently got married to a woman with several children that are not his. The woman has divorced him and filed for child support from him, even though he is not the biological father. The court has ordered him to pay her child support! It is evident that the woman had this situation planned from the beginning.

Did he legally adopt them?? If he did, then he should pay child support, if NOT, then it's just BS

[blondemoments]

Originally Posted by Tee

expect to have the rath of "the sistas" on you in a bit...spewing their femi-nazism

they think only the women get the shaft.....by men

Excuse me, but when have I ever posted anything to that effect? obviously you don't read my posts.

[Jolly Rancher]

Originally Posted by blondemoments

Excuse me, but when have I ever posted anything to that effect? obviously you don't read my posts.

I am sure it was just a generalization, my dear. You probably felt, by this remark, like all the 'decent' Mexicans/hispanics do when we make remarks about the illegals by calling them Mexicans/hispanics.

I have never felt prejudice like they do. Having jokes made about me because I am a woman or 'a sista' is all I have had to deal with because I am a WASP in a WASP world (or so it was at one time).

Hey Blondie - call me next week and I will buy your lunch.

[blondemoments]

Jolly,

I'll call ya when I know what day I'll be in town. It's been too long since we've had lunch together.